Everyone's entitled to an opinion

Yahoo! News - Mandela Calls Bush Shortsighted on Iraq "One power with a president who has no foresight and cannot think properly, is now wanting to plunge the world into a holocaust," Mandela told the International Women's Forum.
..."Why is the United States behaving so arrogantly?" he asked. "All that (Bush) wants is Iraqi oil," he said.
..."Is it because the secretary-general of the United Nations is now a black man? They never did that when secretary-generals were white," he said.

Perhaps the Secretary of State and the National Security Advisor would have something to say about that.

"If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don't care for human beings," he said.

Anyone care to add up the humanitarian aid originating from the U.S. versus the rest of the world combined?

Is anyone still listening to Nelson Mandela?

Mark your calendar
. What, no milliseconds?

The personals

The Friday Five:

1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?

Batman, of course.
When I was growing up, there were really only three superheroes: Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. Anyone else was "the rest". And young boys don't paint eagles on their chests and pretend to be Wonder Woman.
So it was between Superman and Batman. I can't remember who pointed it out first: The average kid knew he could never be Superman. He would have to arrange to have been born on another planet. I suppose most kids, at some point, suspect (or, in some cases, wish) that their parents would turn out to be not their real parents and their real parents would turn out to be royalty or rich or, I suppose, aliens-- but most kids know that isn't going to happen. We weren't going to grow up to be Superman.
But we could conceivably grow up to be Batman. All that had to happen was that our parents got killed in some brutal, traumatic crime, and we spent a painless ten years offstage in the lap of wealthy luxury training to be a superhero. (Some of us didn't really think about the fact that Batman's origin was really no more likely than Superman's.)

2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?

To have been an only child. :) No, seriously, let me think. Actually, I can't think of anything. I never really wanted much.

3. What's the furthest from home you've been?

Newark, New Jersey.

4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?

Oh, gosh, I don't know. I'm so very ignorant, I wouldn't know where to start.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?

Radio theater meeting.

The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Echoes: What sound do you hear from time to time that immediately draws up an echo from the past?

Trains. Living in cozy Grant Park as I do, I'm very close to dozens of railroad tracks (this may seem odd for a downtown area in a major metropolitan city, unless you know Atlanta), and distant train whistles often sound in the night. It never fails to move me.
If you spend most of your time in front of a computer, it's easy to forget that some things haven't changed.

Twosome: Visions: ...and what about something you might see now and again that evokes a scene from days gone by?

Here in Atlanta, things change very fast. Not much is left standing with much age to it. Occasionally I'll spot a structure, or a part of one, that has been there for a while, and I'll flash back to what the neighborhood used to look like. Every now and again I gaze at the old Sears store... which is now City Hall East Annex... and think about Ponce deLeon Field, where the Atlanta Crackers played, which used to stand across the street where the Borders, Staples, and Home Depot are now. That's the trouble with being a native Atlantan: We get lost in used-to-bes.

Threesome: Memories: "Misty water color memories"? Is there a painting or a picture you like to look back on just to remember a certain time or place?

Not really. We lost most of our photographs in a house fire back in '99. The closest I have is an aerial photograph of McDonough, GA (where I grew up) that I downloaded from somewhere. It dates from when I lived there, and when I look at it I can almost smell the drugstore where I used to buy books and comics.

This one time, at band camp...

Showing their pluck / Musicians see nude calendar as ticket to Carnegie Hall
Talent earned the Cal Poly Wind Orchestra an invitation to Carnegie Hall, but it's sex appeal that will get them there.
To help raise the $80,000 or so needed to get to New York in April, 13 women in the orchestra bared almost all in a 2003 calendar that is sailing out of the Cal Poly Technical University bookstore at 10 bucks a pop.
Most posed behind their instruments, but in some cases that wasn't discrete enough -- a piccolo is so small -- so strategically placed music stands and props keep their privates, well, private.
"The water polo team did something similar a few years ago, but all they had to work with was their water polo balls," said Holly Ransom, a senior featured with her bass trombone in February. "Ours are more unique because we got to use our instruments."

LATER: I'm not sure this is a wise thing to do, but in light of the fact that my "nude calendar" post on New Years' 2002 attracted so much attention, I've expanded it and updated it, and put the resulting page over here.

MUCH LATER: No insult was intended to the students of Cal Poly. But you had to know you'd attract attention when you decided to do this. That's sort of the point. Congratulations: Knock 'em dead at Carnegie.

Dave Barry has a blog
I think this is one of those things that every blogger has to acknowledge. At some point this weekend, those five words will probably saturate the blogosphere to the point that they will actually become visible to the naked eye.

Well, to some naked eyes. Other people's eyes will have to put clothes on. Maybe one of those three-of-clubs contact lenses like Teller wears.

I really shouldn't try to write at this hour.

Wait a minute. Dave Barry got a blog at Blogger? At BlogSpot? Yeah, right. Sure, it's really him. I believe everything I read on the web, don't you?

What a country

Yahoo! News - Comedian Disarms Good-Humored Gangsters
TIRANA, Albania (Reuters) - A famous Albanian comedian averted a highway robbery by making the bandits laugh, an Albanian newspaper reported.

I had no idea there was such a thing as a "famous Albanian comedian". I guess I am hopelessly provincial. I'm also one of those insensitive clods who, when I hear the phrase "Ethiopian cuisine", I think "empty plates".

It certainly isn't my fault that when a hotel advertises "Continental breakfast", it means they don't serve any. (Well? They leave a handful of dried croissants in a basket in the lobby. C'mon, honestly, do you consider that "serving breakfast"?)

I probably shouldn't try to write at this hour.

Why not?

Yahoo! News - National Geographic Doing Swimsuit Issue
It's the middle of winter, so it must be time for a swimsuit issue to liven up magazine reading.
No, not that one.
National Geographic is doing a swimsuit issue.

Oh, I loved that "Girls of Siberia" thing they did last time, didn't you?

I swear, I hadn't seen this when I said that

Yahoo! News - Western 'Human Shields' Head for Iraq
LONDON (Reuters) - Proclaiming they were prepared to die if necessary to stop war in Iraq, the first convoy of Western "human shield" volunteers drove out of London on Saturday on double-decker buses bound for Baghdad.
...The campaign has upset some among the thousands of Westerners detained by Saddam to act as shields against attacks after his 1990 invasion of Kuwait and the ensuing 1991 Gulf War.
They feel the volunteers do not appreciate the seriousness of what they are doing and are unaware of their past suffering.

I tell you, people never cease to surprise me.

Axis of Weasel
<pseudo-Roseann Rosannadanna mode> Oh, I see, Rumsfeld didn't actually say that. It was just a joke. Never mind. </pseudo-Roseann Rosannadanna mode>

This thing exploded so fast I thought maybe he had said it... (The NY Post cover is real, not photoshopped.)

He said this instead:
CNN.com - Rumsfeld: France, Germany are 'problems' in Iraqi conflict - Jan. 23, 2003

"Germany has been a problem, and France has been a problem," said Rumsfeld, a former NATO ambassador. "But you look at vast numbers of other countries in Europe. They're not with France and Germany on this, they're with the United States."
Germany and France represent "old Europe," and NATO's expansion in recent years means "the center of gravity is shifting to the east," Rumsfeld said.

Hm. Well, maybe he did say it.

Now, there could have been a thoughtful, reasonable response to this. There wasn't:
ABCNEWS.com : 'Old Europe' Jibe Prompts German, French Media Ire

"Mister Rumsfeld, hundreds of thousands of your G.I.'s fell for 'old Europe' because they freed us from the tyranny of Hitler. You are sinning against your own heroes by disparaging 'old Europe'. Your G.I.'s died for the ideals of your place of origin," Bild wrote in an editorial.

Now, even I see a problem with this logic, but I'm a notoriously slow blogger. Steven Den Beste -- who is, after all, not the secretary of defense of the world's remaining military superpower, nor the writer of editorials for a foreign-language newspaper, but only a person like me, who reads things and thinks about them -- said this:

You know, if anything that argument would run the other direction. Wouldn't you think? I, myself, have tried not to use the "dammit, they owe us" argument but it's truly strange for them to try to turn it around and use it against us. If thousands of American dead in cemeteries in France and Germany lay any obligation on anyone, wouldn't you think it would be on them and not on us? Of course, these are also the nations who used the invocation of NATO Article V ("An attack on one will be considered an attack on all") to mean that the US had to get permission from Europe before fighting alone ("Since we were all attacked, we all have to agree on how to fight back using the US military that we all collectively control").

I'm thinking I'd like to see a "human shield" approach to the defense of Iraq. Sean Penn had the right idea (a phrase I thought I'd never hear myself say): Go to Baghdad. Talk. Listen. I mean, really listen. See for yourself. Use your presence at the bulls-eye as a deterrent to war. Hold yourself hostage.

Dare I comment?
Presidential Candidate Wants To Make Love, Not War To Iraq

...If elected, [Clint] Arthur's inaugural speech will explain how to give a woman multiple orgasms -- information he believes will revitalize the economy better than any tax plan.

I don't think I dare.

LATER: I have to say it. There's an inaugural address I'd pay to hear. You know, it actually sounds like it would belong on pay-per-view, doesn't it?

The personals

The Friday Five:

1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?

It's 48 years old. (It's hard not to dwell on these things.) I think it's probably a good thing that at about the same time our "can't do that any more" list begins to get long, we forget how much fun some of the things on it are. I mean, were. Memory, they say, is the second thing to go. What's the first? I forget.

2. What are two things you love about your body?

(a) It's still here. (b) It's 50 pounds lighter than it was.

3. What are three things you want to change about your home?

(Picture me stumbling over that last step that isn't there.) "Home"? I thought we were talking about my body. (a) Warmer. (b) Bigger. (c) More bookshelves.

4. What are four books you want to read this year?

(a) The Free Fall of Webster Cummings by Tom Bodett. (b) The Century of Sex by James R. Petersen. (c) In Our Defense by Ellen Alderman and Caroline Kennedy. (d) Atlanta's Half Century by Furman Bisher and Celestine Sibley. (There are more books than that on my "in progress" shelf, but I wanted to restrict myself to books that I haven't really started yet. I've almost finished Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World.")

5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?

I can't count that high. (a) Love my wife. (b) Love my daughter. (c) Love my son. (d) Lose weight. (e) Get stronger.

Sorry, that was your fifteen minutes
Yahoo! News - Radio Station in Court Over Dry Ice Stunt

LONDON (Reuters) - A British radio station was in court Friday for running a competition during which four listeners suffered severe frostbite.
During the "Coolest Seats In Town" challenge by BRMB station in Birmingham, central England, four listeners competed to see who could sit on dry ice for the longest time.

Sometimes you just don't know who to slap first. Did none of these people know what dry ice is?

The silver screen
There was a time when I used to go to movies regularly. A number of things conspired to get me out of the habit.

I used to take Evenings Off (or, actually, late-afternoons off) and go to discount matinees. But when my hobby came to consume an evening every week, and the kids came along to take most of the rest, I lost that time to myself.

I used to work in a movie theater. I thought that would be heaven. Nothing can put you off going to a movie like working there. I saw the first and last 15 minutes of E. T. dozens of times. I mounted the film on the platters they use for projectors nowadays: I hated that. It eliminated the need to synchronize multiple projectors, but it also produced an explosion of splice marks at each reel transition. And not only was this esthetically unpleasing to me, but I was responsible for it.

Plus I made popcorn and mopped up spilled "golden seasoning", whatever that was. We all pretended it was butter, but we knew it wasn't.

Then, yes, affordable home video came along. For the price of going to a movie, I could own a copy and watch it at home. DVD was the final nail in that coffin: The picture at home is actually better than anything I can see at the theater. I saw Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in a theater... and I was horrified! The film grain is enormous. (When this isn't obvious, it's because it's out of focus.) The image was so contrasty as to be almost posterized. The music's too loud and the dialogue is too soft.

And I really resent paying good money to see commercials on a 50-foot screen. Raise the ticket price if you must, but it's them or me, Regal, them or me.

And cinematography has gone to hell. Television standards have taken over. Fast cuts and close-ups look fine on a 26-inch screen: In the theater, when Potter's knitted brows fill your field of vision, it's like being beaten with a blunt instrument. Come on, guys, I don't need to count nose hairs. Close-ups are for subtleties of expression: Tell your stories with medium shots. I need to see context, location, ambiance.

The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Still- Can't hold still? What type of music gets you going? I mean to where your just have to crank it up and start moving to the beat!

Every now and again, I feel that I reside on a different planet from the rest of you. This is one of those times. I don't dance. I mean, period. I'm immune to it. Tone deaf to it, if you wish to put it that way. I can hold still for, oh, days on end.

Twosome: Life- Life in the fast lane? What would it take to slow you down a bit and let you relax this weekend? Hmmm? ...or are you going to turn That Game on? (...and who's going to win?)

Considering that (for medical reasons) I haven't been to work since August, I don't think I'm in the fast lane right now. Game? What game? Risk? Parcheesi? ...Oh, is it still football season?

Threesome: In watercolor- Hey! How about wall art? What do you like to have hanging around the place for decoration? Kid pics? Knick-knacks? ...the Monet or two?

My walls are conspicuously bare. I have a framed poster or two from radio theater productions I've participated in.

Trivial pursuit
The news media have two general categories of information they can impart: Things we need to know and things we want to know. Many more acute observers than I have pointed out the conflict between them. Many have lamented that television news in particular is no longer a "pure" public service (which, cynicism aside, I believe it once was). But since it is now a clear and significant profit center for the networks that produce it, it is therefore obligated to gloss over difficult subjects so they won't drive too many viewers away.

In which of these categories falls Michael Jackson's nose? We clearly do not need to know: Can that be possible that we want to know?

Well, something led me to follow the chain of links from InstaPundit to Blogs4God to Anomalies Unlimited's The HisTory of Michael Jackson's face. (I am deeply ashamed.) The "HisTory" offers ample photographic documentation of Mr Jackson's deteriorating features. I suspect NBC will offer no further insight into the question without which this is "simple" archive retrieval: What was he thinking?

I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I spent no more than five minutes on this task. No hundreds of thousands of dollars to produce nor promote nor sponsor an hour-long program on the subject; nor indirectly support those who will / did by purchasing products. Five minutes from the origin of curiosity to its satisfaction. The web is a wonderful place.

I suppose that curiosity of this sort is a special case of "want to know". In which case, I have one further curiosity that will probably remain unsatisfied: How many things that I need to know will go unreported for want of the resources being allocated to Michael Jackson's nose?

LATER:
'Dateline' to spotlight Michael Jackson's face

The series can ''run the gamut from important, serious shows like Tom Brokaw's fantastic hour on Iraq to ridiculous but fascinating hours on Michael Jackson's face,'' [NBC Entertainment President Jeff] Zucker told the Television Critics Association.

Ah. Ridiculous. Entertainment. That makes it all right, then. That makes it OK to pick Michael Jackson's nose (oh, how I fought not to phrase it that way, but some events defy, I say, defy any attempt to maintain standards) for an hour (well, 48 minutes less commercials) on national television (which isn't worth what it used to be, what with the fractured viewer base and declining share, but is still a fair sized chunk of change).

Who will knowingly choose to sponsor this show? Clearasil? Revlon? Six Flags? NAMBLA?

Farewell
Locus Online: News Log, January 2003

Virginia (Ginny) Heinlein, widow of SF writer Robert A. Heinlein, passed away Saturday morning, January 18, 2003. She married Robert in 1948, and after his death in 1988 oversaw publication of several posthumous works, including Grumbles from the Grave and the uncut edition of Stranger in a Strange Land. She lived on the Atlantic coast.

Damn.

UPDATE: Here is Virginia Heinlein's obituary from SFWA.

Lawyers at work
Yahoo! News - Law Targets 'Up-Skirt' Filming

Galled by a court ruling last year that let two men get away with pointing cameras up women's skirts in public, Washington state legislators are proposing updated anti-voyeurism laws to outlaw the practice.

Filming a person's "intimate areas" would be made illegal, even in public places, and DNA samples would be collected from offenders to better track them under a bill written by State Rep. Patricia Lantz, who chairs the House Judiciary Committee (news - web sites).
"In the previous (anti-voyeurism) bill, we didn't consider the remote possibility that jerks would go around filming up the skirts of women," Lantz told Reuters.

...The amended law would not make it illegal to peek at a person's private areas in public, but would outlaw filming, including digital images, which can easily be loaded onto a computer and displayed on the Internet.

"As nasty as it is to the victims, standing over my desk and looking down my blouse is not a crime," Lantz said. "But this bill makes it clear you have a reasonable expectation of privacy about your body and a person's ability to film intimate areas of your body."

I would love to have heard the rationale behind the ruling that sticking a camera up a woman's skirt is not an invasion of her privacy, even if she has had the audacity to leave her home wearing one.

Because the next book is bigger than "War and Peace"
I'm not a big fan of fan-fiction of any kind, but Naked Quidditch makes me laugh out loud.

(That ought to have an interesting effect on my referral logs...)

Just sing, sweetheart, don't talk
Andrew Sullivan, in Salon's "Idiocy of the week", speaking of Sheryl Crow at the American Music Awards:

Here is a fabulously wealthy, famously cute singer, telling the impoverished men, women and children tortured, gassed and abused by one of the most disgusting dictators of all time that any attempt to rescue or liberate them is "not the answer." And she expresses this message in sequins.

Sigh. The message here is that talent or expertise in one field does not legitimize comments made in any other, and we should not delude ourselves that it does. Ms Crow's remarks are... amusing. All the more so that she has chosen the medium of sequins in which to express her opinions. (There's a reason she made her fortune in music.) There is no further significance.

From Yahoo news:

"I just think there's a really vital, sweeping peace movement out there that's not getting covered in the press, so I just kind of try to do my part," she said backstage.

"Not getting covered?" What does she read, Hit Parader? Ah, never mind. Fish in a barrel.

(Heard it from Photodude.)

Portrait of an unbalanced mind

LILEKS (James) The Blog: After Gnat went down for her nap I tried to do the same, but I�d had so much coffee my heart felt like a hummingbird in a shoe box; I laid there thinking it would be unfortunate if I had a heart attack now, because she�d wake up and cry and no one would come. But my wife comes home at six, and she�ll probably nap until one, so that�s just five hours, but still, that�s a long time to cry. Poor girl.

I would write something accusatory about such happy thoughts you have, but I can't pretend such things never occur to me. Consider where I spent the last week of the summer.

(This is an experiment, posted via Blogger's "Blog This" shortcut. The context-menu popup flatly does not work for me: This does, adequately.)

The personals

The Friday Five:

Where do you currently work?

In light of the previous post, I think I'd better not say. I'm currently on disability, anyway, owing to visual impairment resulting from a stroke. I'm sure I've mentioned it before...

How many other jobs have you had and where?

I'm forty-eight years old. How long do you have? I've managed retail stores and movie theaters. I've done tech support for Microsoft. I must be a glutton for punishment.

What do you like best about your job?

Uh. Mostly being left alone to do things my own way.

What do you like least about your job?

Working nights.

What is your dream job?

I copy-edited web pages. I went to work in a shop full of genius graphic artists who created the look and feel of a dozen sites a day, and proofread the pages for grammar and clarity. That was the most fun I've ever been paid to have. (I'd love to do that again. Anybody hiring? I have experience in Dreamweaver, Photoshop, and Microsoft Office, and pretty decent written communications skills...)

They did what?
I was going to draw your attention to The Edge of England's Sword, where you will find Iain Murray's comments regarding Michael Moore on the Daily Show (and of course we bloggers love to link to stuff like that)...

But I now feel compelled to draw your attention to a later post, in which he relates that he was sacked for blogging. No, really. Not blogging on company time, or saying nasty things about one's employer, or publishing confidential memos. Simply having a blog, his employer felt, justified his immediate termination. As if he'd been caught writing on the washroom walls.

Suddenly I understand why so many people don't put their names on theirs.

The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Health- Do any of your hopes for the New Year concern health issues?

Boy, howdy, do they. I spent entirely too much time in doctor's offices, hospitals and funeral homes this year, and I very much hope to CUT IT OUT.

Twosome: Wealth- What if you didn't have the ten million we were talking about last week on the Porch. What if you had an extra $100 dollars? Where would it go? Uh-uh! No necessities! You can only spend it frivolously!

Oh, come on, how far can you go for $100? That's not even enough for a weekend at the beach. (Well, it is if you don't sleep indoors, or eat...) On the other hand, it would buy Buffy Season Three with plenty enough to spare for dinner out.

Threesome: And Happiness- What would make you happy today? ...and not world peace, just something easy for you.

I'd be content if my long-term disability (which should have started in October) would finally kick in.

Comic book trivia
Well, for some I'm sure that's an oxymoron. For the rest...

Comics Continuum has screenshots from the upcoming "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" movie, starring Sean Connery as Alan Quatermain. Hmmm.

Is this an ad for CleanDisk?
Does this scare the bejezus out of anybody besides me?

Discs in trash lead to porn charge arrest
The man was arrested after a female passer-by dug into his trash and took the discs home. She put the discs into her computer and found the images, then reported her discovery to police.

Tell me something. Why do the words invasion of privacy occur nowhere in this story?

Look, I realize none of this reflects well on this guy. Granted. And I have children, so child porn is one of those things of which I'm not disposed to be tolerant. There are a lot of underage-looking girls making a lot of money with pictures like this, but I'm even willing to concede that your average Pinellas county policeman should be able to tell whether girls just look young for their age, or if they really are "under the age of 10" as the arrest report says. And I wouldn't expect anyone to ignore evidence of a crime (loose body parts, bagged cocaine, bootleg VeggieTales) just because it was found in the garbage. I reckon most evidence of crimes is found in the garbage.

But... but...

Ah, never mind. I don't have a leg to stand on here, just an instinctive "this is wrong" reaction.

The personals

The Friday Five:

1. Where are you right now?

I'm in front of my computer. Duh. (Oh, all right. I know what you meant.) At home.

2. What time is it?

Check the time stamp. Duh. (I've been checking the site since midnight for this week's questions. Obviously I have no life.)

3. What are you wearing?

What kind of phone call is this? What kind of girl do you think I am? No, wait, I'm not any kind of girl. Tempted as I am to say something outrageous, I confess I'm wearing a black tee shirt and casual pants. (Not jeans: I don't own any that fit. Come to think of it, these pants don't fit. I don't own any pants that fit.) Yep. That's what I'm wearing, all right. Nothing unusual going on here.

4. Any people or animals around you? Describe them.

Well, one of us doesn't have a life, I thought at first it was me, but now I'm not sure. My son is in the living room, just home from school, watching Jackie Chan (I think). He's eleven, skinny tow-headed kid. You've probably been watching him, you lurker. And if I see you around here again, I'm calling the police.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?

To live through it. Assuming I succeed in that, to do some grocery shopping and pick up Buffy Season Three. (See "I have no life", above.) Also to... never mind. None of your business. Move along. Nothing to see here. :)

Gosh, you caught me in a strange mood.

The smartest thing Martin Scorsese never said
James Lileks has it in today's Bleat.

The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Commercial- Are there any TV commercials that really grab you? I mean, to the point you want to show them to other people?

Who watches TV? The last commercial that really grabbed me was from Polaroid (which dates it a bit). The husband is at work preparing to give a presentation: He's obviously nervous, and his small but important audience is getting impatient. His phone rings: It's his wife. We never see her, we hear her over the phone.
"Are you coming home for lunch?"
"Hon, this meeting has come up, I don't think I'm going to be �"
"Have you opened your briefcase?"
He glances apologetically at his unforgiving guests. "No, I haven't. Look, I need to�" He fumbles the briefcase opens and takes out a Polaroid picture (which we, the audience, never see):
Full stop. Pause.
Husband raised the phone to his ear again and says, "I'll be home in twenty minutes."

Twosome: Holiday- Valentine's Day is coming up, do you celebrate the holiday or do you prefer to just let it pass you by?

It may be a modest celebration -- or it may not. We have kids. (Those of you who don't have kids may wonder why that's relevant. Those who do...know.) On the other hand, 2-14 falls on Friday this year...

Threesome: Madness- Even if you don't celebrate it, do you succumb to the madness and buy up boxes of chocolates, just for you?

Good heavens, no. Chocolate doesn't do it for me. I haven't had much of a taste for it for years, and even less so since my medical adventures. I will, however, confess a fondness for Sweetheart message hearts. (Buying Valentine's Day stuff for yourself? Isn't that just the teeniest bit...pathetic?)

There's something you don't hear every day
*BRRRING* *click* "Hello?"
"Yes, could I speak to..." (...and then a long pause, which tells me that (1) they're looking the name up on the list, and (b) it's probably going to be my wife's name, since most people can't figure how to pronounce it. Sure enough, it was for her.)
"I'm sorry, she's at work. Can I take a message?"
"Just tell her the Second Amendment called."
"I will. Tell the First hello for me."
"What?"
"Never mind."

Well, I've never been called by an Amendment before.

Oh, business would never do that

Yahoo! News - Firms Deny Creating Female Sexual Disorder
Pharmaceutical firms on Friday rejected claims they had created a new disorder known as female sexual dysfunction to build a market for Viagra and similar drugs among women.

The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Postage Hey, did all your packages and cards get delivered? ...or are you (or perhaps someone on the receiving end) still expecting something 'any day now'?

Everything got where it was going, in either direction. At least, everything I'm aware of.

Twosome: Due: Are you due for a break after all the excitement of the holidays? ...or are you just moving on with life? Maybe the upcoming weekend is a good thing to see on the horizon?

The holidays were the break. Now it's back to medical concerns. My dad, freshly out of the hospital, is going on a golfing trip next week (he's not playing, "only" supervising). If it weren't golf, I might go too. I could use a week in Florida.

Threesome: Two cents... What's your two cents on things wintery? Has it been one you can handle so far or a bit too much for your taste?

I am cold, but that has less to do with the weather than my altered metabolism (and being 50 pounds lighter than I'm used to being). It's gonna get colder before it gets warmer. I'll just have to hunker down and bear it.

The Friday Five is back.

1. Do you wear any jewelry? What kind?

I wear a wedding ring my daughter made for me. That's it.

2. How often do you wear it?

Constantly.

3. Do you have any piercings? If so, where?

Good heavens, no. (Well, there's a stint in there, but that's not what you mean, is it?)

4. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where?

Again, good heavens, no. I've never seen any piece of art I liked enough to see it on my hide. All I think when I see a tattoo is pain of application.

5. What are your plans for the weekend?

Radio theater meeting. Grocery shopping. (Gosh, I miss WebVan.) Generally getting the kids ready to return to school next week. I'm sure there are other things I'm not aware of.

Happy New Year
Here's to a dull, boring 2003.

LATER: My father spent the holidays in intensive care in the same hospital I was in last summer, having the same procedure done (angioplasty). He's expected to go home tomorrow. (UPDATE: He did.)