Daily Planet 12-31

• British academics to tackle fashion's bottom line - Yahoo! News

  It is one of the most fundamental -- and, for men, potentially hazardous -- questions of modern life, for which academics now hope to provide the definitive answer: "Does my bum look big in this?"

• Distorted Tunes Test (Warning: Slow download.)

  Ever wondered if you are tone-deaf? The Distorted Tune Test page can help. You listen to 25 simple tunes and judge whether they are played correctly or not (it takes about five or six minutes).
  

• Kids Caught on Tape: Durant Middle School Vandalized

  Have you ever had the dream where you're at school....naked? Three 10-year-old boys in Bryan County did go to a school naked and it was all caught on tape.

• Official Google Blog: I'm feeling silly

  Naturally, we were all curious to see what 250 pounds of Silly Putty would look like.

• Sunbelt Software Silly Putty Task Force

  What happens when you drop a 50 pound beach ball made of Silly Putty off the roof of a building?

Daily Planet 12-23

• california patriot blog » Berkeley Streakers

  As is tradition during finals week, a bunch of Berkeley students go streaking through the library.

• Cañon City Daily Record Newspaper

  Dad, home from Middle East on leave, killed - by wife and boyfriend. No, that's not the odd part. The odd part is that the newspaper reporter tells us about his, and his daughter's, blogs.
  

• Entertainment Weekly's EW.com | Feature: Joss Whedon lets ''Firefly'' go

  ''In the end, it was what it was: a tough sell,'' says Whedon, adding that it appears the Firefly saga has reached its conclusion.

• How did the tradition of decorating a tree for Christmas get started?

  Legend has it that Martin Luther first introduced the concept in 1510.

Roadblocks

There are 22 levels . (Ask me how I know. Go on. Ask.)

Daily Planet 12-20

• Santarchy! (Santacon)

  Every December, for the last 12 years, Cacophonous Santas have been visiting cities around the world and generating a bit of naughty Christmas fun.

• Seattle Post-Intelligencer: Phantom

  The Ghost Who... Walks?

• TheKansasCityChannel.com - Local News - 3 Quit Gym Over Fetus Christmas Tree

  A Christmas tree that a pregnancy counseling organization provided to a women's fitness center prompted three people to cancel their memberships because the tree is decorated with plastic figures meant to represent fetuses.

Daily Planet 12-19

• The Sun Online | Time's up for bank clocks

  Insiders say the timepieces are being taken down so the public cannot complain about how long they have had to queue.

• Washington Times | Books | Why they think of aliens

  Ms. Clancy, a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Harvard, states quite clearly early on that it is not her aim to prove that these people were abducted -- to the contrary, she does not believe these abductions ever took place -- but that we can learn why these people believe that they have been.

• TBO.com (AP) | Santas Go on Rampage in New Zealand City

  Alex Dyer, a spokesman for the group, said Santarchy was a worldwide movement designed to protest the commercialization of Christmas.

Daily Planet 12-18

• BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Space cadets taken in by TV hoax

  "Aw man," said Paul. "We're not astronauts. We're just asses."

• Forsman & Bodenfors Girlpower demo

  The media world is becoming increasingly fixated on appearances. And the number of tricks used to achieve the increasingly exaggerated ideals is growing.

• RateMyCow.com - the greatest cow rating site in the developed world

  For obvious reasons "naked" photography is allowed, as cows don't often wear clothes. However no cattle-sex pictures are allowed, nor are gratuitous udder shots. This is a family cattle site!

• REAL OR FAKE? / Choosing a Christmas tree can be an ethical quagmire for environmentalists

  "Some people wanted to call it a 'peace tree' or a 'holiday tree,' " said Mark Westlund, a spokesman for the Department of the Environment. "But we figured that only people who would be celebrating Christmas would want one for the most part."

Happy birthday

To my wife.

Daily Planet 12-17

• Company Names

  Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.

• First Coast News | Navy Wife Carries Mannequin in Place of Husband

  It's the newlywed's first separation, and Walker was looking for a way to get through the alone time.

• Regret The Error | Crunks '05: The Year in Media Errors and Corrections

  What jumps out is that this was a year during which we witnessed the astounding consequences of media errors.

• YesButNoButYes | Outrageous Firsts in Television History

  It was Leave it to Beaver that managed to cut a ground-breaking deal with the FCC, showing the first toilet on October 4, 1957.

Daily Planet 12-15

• 'Sex rage' couple facing $3.8 million bill - Jamaica Gleaner News

  The pair had attacked cabin crew who stopped them having sex.

• 2GB Credit Card Shaped Storage - TrustedReviews

  Much praise and adulation must go to Walletex for being the first manufacturer on the market to produce a product that truly lives up to this name.

• Blog bullies busted

  "It's none of their business. Why are they monitoring online student journals in the first place?"

• Coke to launch coffee-infused Coke Blak - Yahoo! News

  A Coke spokesperson said Coca-Cola Blak will be a mid-calorie drink, similar to Coca-Cola C2.

• Ersatz Santa charged after dropping pants - Union Leader

  Mullen told police that he was just joking around, saying something to the effect of he was "just having some fun with the kids."

• Miniature Guide Horses for the Blind - Damn Interesting

  While a miniature guide horse requires roughly the same amount of time to train, it has a typical life expectancy of 30-40 years.

• Nude teacher prank turns into whodunnit - Yahoo! News

  A raunchy picture of a Cypriot teacher in a state of undress was surreptitiously downloaded from her mobile telephone and sent to hundreds of pupils.

• Skateboard move creator sues for $20M - Florida Today

  The creator of an aerial skateboarding move known as ollie is suing several companies, including Disney and Sega, over the use of the word.

• Space Cadets - channel4.com

  Four "thrillseekers" think they're in earth orbit, but it's really "Big Brother in Space".

• TV Writers Must Sell, Sell, Sell - Wired News

  In a recent episode of the NBC series Medium, writers had to work the movie Memoirs of a Geisha into the dialogue three times because of a deal the network made with Sony earlier in the season.

• University Sells 'Big Brains On Campus' Calendars - Click2Houston.com

  There are plenty of calendars that show off certain parts of the human anatomy. But a new pin-up calendar at the University of Illinois celebrates the brain.

Personal Appearances

You're invited to join us at Stone Mountain Park this weekend for ARTC's production of "An Atlanta Christmas", featuring myself as the Host. That's Saturday and Sunday, December 10 and 11, from 2pm to 5pm both days, at Memorial Hall. There is no additional cost past the parking fee Stone Mountain Park charges at the park gate.

My daughter is appearing with the William Baker Festival Singers and the Youth Festival Singers for Christmas Atlanta 2005, this Friday (8pm) and Sunday (3pm and 7pm) at Sandy Springs United Methodist Church. Admission is $20 for adults, $10 for seniors and students.

My daughter can also be heard at the Grady High School Chorus Winter Concert, at 7 pm on Tuesday, December 13 at the Grady H.S. Theater.

And even more ARTC Christmas goodness can be had at Barnes & Noble Perimeter on Saturday, December 17, as we read some of our favorite holiday stories. You'll find us at the back of the store, in the children's storytelling area.

Evil Has Reigned For 100 Years...

Much is being made of a letter by C. S. Lewis in which he offered the opinion that no live-action film of "The Chronicles of Narnia" should ever be attempted. It should be remembered, however, that Lewis died in 1963. He probably expected Aslan to look like Bert Lahr. He had no way to anticipate the state of the digital moviemaker's art as of 2005. But then, who did?

Last night, thanks to the generosity of my friend Jerry Page, my family and I saw an advance screening of "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." I wouldn't presume to say whether Lewis would be satisfied, although I certainly hope so. The capacity crowd who saw this screening at Phipps Plaza certainly were.

Nor can I speak to the movie's fidelity to its source: I've read the book, but it's been decades, and I remember only the broad outlines of it. But it certainly felt right.

The transition from the wardrobe interior to the snowy forest and the lonely lamp-post was exactly as I've always envisioned it. The children were a little younger than I'd pictured them, but I can't fault their letter-perfect performances. The White Queen was as icy as a human actress can be. Aslan was... well, Aslan.

"Narnia" seems ready to step into the "epic fantasy series" niche recently vacated by "Lord of the Rings." The producers have optioned all seven books, which should take care of our Christmases through 2011.

A real page-turner

The Shape of Days | Thoughts on the ‘National Strategy’
So I’m reading the “National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.” It’s a real page-turner. Apparently this little boy named Harry is secretly a wizard, and he gets sent to this wizard school where he has wonderful adventures with his new friends, Id and Superego.

...The subtext is pretty clear, and infinitely amusing to your humble narrator: ”We did tell you our strategy three years ago; 48 percent of y’all were just too stupid to wrap your ‘American Idol’-softened noodles around it. So we’re gonna tell you all again, and again, and if necessary again until you get what we’ve been saying all along.“

Holiday season officially starts

And the stores dust the displays that have been in place since Hallowe'en.

James Lileks | Monday, November 28
They're playing Christmas songs at the coffee shop now; the staff informs me that the selection consists of the same four songs played over and over again, but by different artists. I wouldn't doubt it.

...Now it's the Johnny Mathis version of "Sleigh Ride," which sounds less like a holiday tune than an elocution lesson; the man could certainly enunciate. Pass around the cof-fee and the pump-kin pie! He hits Pump! like someone launching off the lip of a ski jump.

This is nostalgia for some – it's nostalgia for me, for that matter; I remember these versions from my childhood, although I never liked it – but you have to remember that it was nostalgia then, inasmuch as it refers to the "Currier and Ives" versions of the seasons that people already lamented losing. But that's Christmas; a mass consensual illusion that the holiday existed in some perfect state, and that this state can be replicated again if we find the right combination of lights, ornaments, songs, nutmeg candles, Pottery Barn CD compilations, pine-scented infusers, kicky shoes and brie spreaders.

And, of course, that time-tested Christmas tradition, radio theatre.

A new magic trick

Click on this only if you have eight minutes to kill: The video is that long, plus however long it takes to stream it on a dialup. It's in Japanese, but magic tricks work even if you can't understand the patter.

I haven't a clue how he does this.

LATER: It's discussed in this MetaFilter thread. Several theories are put forth, some clever, some absurd. I think everyone agrees, though, that this guy (Cyril by name) is good.

Why bury the good quotes?

His basic interview technique was to pretend he didn't know things....

I really regretted the waste of my time, but even more the waste of TV space. Getting younger people to watch who are interested in the issues is important. What a waste to make them think it's all Silly Putty.

Rep. Barney Frank, D-MA, about being interviewed for Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, quoted in the Boston Globe.

I'm going to hell

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. (Wait for it.)

Oddly, the planet continues to spin

Yahoo News (AP) | Tyra Banks Goes Undercover As Obese Woman
Tyra Banks has gone undercover as a 350-pound woman. Banks wore the fat suit to experience what it's like to be obese.

"It seemed like the last form of open discrimination that's OK, and I decided to put on a 350-pound suit myself and live that life for a day and see what happens," the 31-year-old former supermodel told AP Radio in a recent interview. "And it was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life."

Banks said she was shocked at the reaction.

"I started walking down the street and within 10 seconds, a trio of people looked at me, snickered, looked me right in my eye and started pointing and laughing in my face," the talk-show host said. "And I had no idea it was that blatant."

Perhaps something happens to you the first time you see yourself referred to as a "former supermodel".

Now, as I snark away at this, I admit it would be helpful to know what Tyra Banks actually does weigh. But we can still figure what an "obese" Tyra should weigh. She's 5'10", so calculating from a Body Mass Index* of 30 (the lowest level considered "obese") gives us 208.

So of course she chose a 350-lb fat suit. Anything less wouldn't have been Good Television.

I could speculate on other reasons people might point and laugh. Was appropriate makeup work done for her face and hands as well, or was a skinny little Tyra head sitting on a Michelin Woman body? Did a mischevious wardrobe mistress tuck her skirt into her pantyhose, knowing there's no way she's gonna feel a draft under all that fake flab? Was she followed around by a camera crew wearing "Tyra Banks Show" t-shirts?

Oh, please don't make me watch daytime TV to find out...

* BMI = weight (in pounds) times 705, divided by height squared (in inches)

Blatant Sales Pitch

For this week only (November 2-10), my son's school is selling coupon books to help pay for 8th grade field trips. The book is called "Atlanta: Enjoy the City", and it sells for $12. It includes discounts ranging from Dunkin Donuts to Yamato, Great Clips to Six Flags. (I can't speak for you, but many such coupon books contains negligible discounts to places I never go. These are deals I might actually use.)

If you're interested, let me know, or click on the button below (it's PayPal). Either way, the books will be mailed out after the promotion is over. Thanks.

EDIT: It's over.

Living up to their name

WDUN | Chapter 11 files for Chapter 11
The bookstore company that once used the slogan "prices so low, you'd think we were going bankrupt" has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and will be closing its Gainesville store, among others.

Chapter 11 Bookstores says on its Web site that the filing is "an effort to better serve its customers and strengthen its overall business operations."

I bet they wish they'd called it "Insanely Profitable Bookstore" now.

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