The personals

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Merry: Merry times? Hey, did you have a Merry Christmas? How did things turn out for you and yours after all the work and time you put in preparing for the big day?

Everything worked pretty well, with the big exception that my father is in the hospital (the same one I was in) with undetermined heart trouble.

Twosome: Christmas: Christmas presents? Did you get what you wanted from Santa? ...or are you headed back to the stores with the rejects on 'Reverse Shopping Day'?

I'm content.

Threesome: Everyone! Is everyone back to the normal routine today, like work and homemaking and such. ...or are you still entertaining? ...or maybe just taking a well deserved break from it all?

Back to normal. I envy those who can take a week or two break for Christmas. I've never been in a position to do that.

The Friday Five is back.

1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year?

I lived through it.

2. What was your biggest disappointment?

A very good friend did not.

3. Will you be making any New Year's resolutions?

No. I never do.

4. Where will you be at midnight? Do you wish you could be somewhere else?

A friend usually hosts a New Year's Eve party to which I usually go. I am considering foregoing it this year and spending the evening at home with my wife. (UPDATE: I stayed home. Both of us were ill.)

5. Aside from (possibly) staying up late, do you have any other New Year's traditions?

No.

Diversions
Bored on the holidays? Among the attractions at lileks.com is this examination of intriguing yet unsettling pin-ups by Art Frahm. Certainly, if there were an artist who specializes in cheesecake poses of women whose underwear has unexpectedly fallen to their ankles, there should by gum be a tribute / gallery site. If "tribute" is the right word.

This borderline-tasteless yet non-explicit collection seems typical of post-war Girl Art. The point is to show off a girl's legs by any means necessary. Hey, I can appreciate that as much as the next red-blooded American male.

But, as Lileks points out, panties simply do not do that. The odd combination of hands full, skirts up and pants down is so unlikely that my suspension of disbelief cannot grasp it, unless there was a mysterious elastic failure in 1948 coupled with an epidemic of women wearing oversized underwear.

Domestic bliss
That's pretty much what we've been having today, although parts of it didn't seem very blissful at the time.

As my lovely wife pointed out, there is a lot of pleasure to be had in hitting the stores and selecting just the right gift for those you love. There would have been even more pleasure in it, I think, had we completed the task a week or so sooner. On Christmas Eve, in my opinion, gift shopping should be through, and grocery shopping should be your main focus, as if you expected to be socked into your own home with an indeterminate quantity of relations who need to be fed. Which is, in fact, the case with us.

But, in truth, the biggest part of the shopping burden is complete (largely because, due to my medical problems, there isn't a lot of money to spare for it: shop intelligently, not extravagantly). It is the luck of the draw that a gift requiring personalization wasn't ready until Christmas Eve afternoon.

When I looked at those around me in the mall, I did not see growing desperation. I did not see cranky children. I did not see hollow eyes and aching feet. I saw smiles, I saw purpose... I saw Christmas. I saw a little Cindy Lou Who in the food court, spinning in place because she could, mother seated nearby allowing her child to burn off her energy in her own way. I saw passersby almost unconsciously veer to one side or the other to make room for her. So far as I could tell, I was the only person who actually stopped to watch -- but nobody was upset, disgruntled or inconvenienced. It's what very little kids do. I had an irrational, unconfirmable feeling that James Lileks' daughter, the Gnat, was also spinning, in the other direction, maintaining the fragile balance of the planet.

I saw a mall full of people who, by and large, wanted to be there. (Well, except, possibly, for the guy who was taking too long to engrave that bracelet we'd come for. I'm not sure about him. But the employee of another store in that same chain, who had come by to pick up a gift herself and took a moment to advise us as to the suitability of font, she wanted to be there. She made up for him.)

For what we are about to receive, let us be truly thankful. Even if it's the simple gift of one more day.

But wait, there's more
In the process of teaching myself CityDesk, I've expanded the home purple page: I've added a handful of essays written for Myriad, plus I've rebuilt my Julia Sawalha and Remember WENN pages that got deleted earlier this year when AOL thought I'd died.

Christmas memories
Brad Strickland has posted some photos of ARTC's Stone Mountain Christmas show here, at the Pirate Hunter site. The young lady second from the right in the first photo, and at far right in the second, is my lovely daughter Sarah. That's me in the fourth photo.

The personals
Thursday Threesome:
Google's: Did the net help you find gifts this Christmas? ...not just buying things over the net, but actually finding gifts for people.
Sure it did. Amazon's wish list is a spectacularly good idea.

Christmas: Got your two front teeth? What is your "wish gift" this Christmas? No, not the one you're hoping to get, but the one you'd love to wish for!
There's really not much I want. I'm beginning to get intrigued by these PDA gadgets, but I still haven't convinced myself I need one. I'd like to have a good digital camera, but I'm not really photographer enough to take advantage of it.

(LATER: Oh, I'm not thinking big enough? Sure, I'd love to have one of those big-screen plasma TVs... Heck, I'd like a house in the country. After 25 years of being ten feet from my neighbors on either side, I could do with some elbow room.)

Cache: Hiding the gifts again? Where are your favorite spots? Shh... Don't tell us the one they haven't found yet! Maybe you'd be better off telling us of "great hiding places from the past"...
I "hide" things in plain sight. One of my son's presents has been sitting on the bookshelf in my office, in the open, for six months and nobody has noticed it. (It's wrapped and under the tree now.) I don't know if this family is extremely respectful or just utterly incurious.

Note to the people on the Back Porch who create the Thursday Threesome: Your site redesign is really spiffy-looking, but I can no longer cut and paste the text of your questions, forcing me (in this electronic age) to retype them. How quaint.

The Friday Five is still on vacation.

Public disclosure
I can still remember how chilling it was to go to a web site and be presented with a map to my own house. I mean, I'm not quite so feeble that I need one... but I hadn't given 'em my address.

I've gradually gotten used to being able to type street addresses and get driving directions, and I know that home ownership is public information -- but the ease of connecting the dots should be paralleled by increased penalties for the misuse of such information, and so far it hasn't been.

Which is why I'm so pleased to see this article, in which Paul Boutin, writing for Wired magazine, traces the consequences of Matt Smith's decision to reveal John Poindexter's (head of the Total Information Awareness project) home address and phone number in an article for SF Weekly. I mean, I wouldn't wish this on anybody, but as an anonymous voter says at the end of the article:

"If they're making him as uncomfortable as we are, good."

(Heard it from Instapundit.)

By the way: No, the Information Awareness Office logo doesn't make me uneasy. At least, not for the same reasons it does so many other bloggers. The "spooky" pyramid with the eye, odd as it may seem, is on our money (check your wallet -- or do the rest of you not carry one-dollar bills any more?). It's the globe on the right, conspicuously centered on the Middle East, that bothers me. Is that meant to be reassuring?

No "Holy this or that" joke
Just a fine overview of Batman's career, with a fistful of links to other fascinating Batman sites, from (of all people) NPR. (Heard it from Mark Evanier.)

Blatant plug
If any of you are in the Atlanta area this weekend and have some time to spare, consider dropping by Stone Mountain Park. Why? Well, because I'll be there. I'll be easy to find: I'll be on stage at Memorial Hall.

No, really. The Atlanta Radio Theatre Company will be performing portions of "An Atlanta Christmas" at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00 Saturday, and 2:00 and 4:00 Sunday. Mostly written by Thomas E Fuller, adapted for audio by me, with a segment written by me, and featuring me as the host...

Oh, yeah, and my daughter plays several prominent roles as well. It's radio theater, we can double-cast.

I mean, it's no visit from Al Roker, but it's a dreaded purple personal appearance, that's gotta be worth something.

The personals
Thursday Threesome:
Faith: Are you faithful in keeping your New Year's Resolutions?
I don't make New Year's Resolutions.

Hope: ...and what are your hopes for the New Year?
Fewer funerals and near-misses.

and Charity: Do you support any causes or charities? Any special projects this time of year?
We support Food for the Poor, but we do that year round. Other projects will have to wait until I have a full-time income again.

The Friday Five is still on vacation.

Awww
The WeatherPixie put up a Christmas tree!

And so did we.

Every year, I complain about having to do this, and this year I was no help at all... and I missed it. Go figure.

I've let Thanksgiving come and go without comment, mostly because I hate being the center of attention. "Boy, you think it's all about you, don't you?" No, I don't, and I wish it weren't... No, wait, that didn't come out right.

What I mean is this: My wife's family insists on having everyone speak in turn to list the things they're thankful for... And when you have a guy in the room who recently survived two heart attacks and two strokes, you sort of have to include "I'm glad Daniel lived." (I'm not quite rude enough to point out that if I hadn't, I'd still have been the center of attention, I just wouldn't have been bothered by it.)

I must share this
You have heard the voice of Paul Frees, although you may not be aware that you have. Boris Badenov. The cat in "The Last Unicorn." Burgermeister Meisterburger in "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." The narrator in the original "George of the Jungle." Squiddly Diddly, Morocco Mole, and Ludwig von Drake...

Well, I had no idea he had recorded an album, but here's a review of Paul Frees and the Poster People, in which Frees sang "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" in the voice of Humphrey Bogart. How can you not go listen to the sound samples?

Journalism cliche #83: Collect them all
It's "searching for answers". When there is no more to say about some horrific event, murder, fire, act of war or what have you, the reporter tells us that the community is Searching for Answers. Funny, I always thought the reporter was supposed to search for answers. Oh, not those answers?

Tony Woodlief knows what they really mean. (You're already reading his "Sand in the Gears", right?)

The personals
Thursday Threesome:
Onesome. Game- What's your favorite game?
Hm. Gosh. I haven't played a game in so long I don't remember. I used to be really big into Risk.

Twosome. Set- Do you collect anything? Is there anything you've worked to get a full set of?
I used to collect comic books. I still buy them, but not with the fervor of a collector. When they were in the range of fifteen to fifty cents each, I could afford it: Now they're three to five dollars each. I just buy what I like to read.

I also have a small collection of toys, but again, I make no attempt of completeness, just what appeals to me. The most recent is a cute Cowgirl Jessie doll (you know, Toy Story 2) that a dear friend gave me as a get-well present. I've wanted a Jessie for a while (I have the McDonald's Happy Meal toy), but I could never find one that really looked like her. This one does. I don't remember ever telling my friend that I wanted one, but it would be like her to have figured it out. I look at it and I think of my friend and That Heartbreaking Song ("When She Loved Me") and I am moved in several directions at once.

Threesome. and Match- Have you ever broken something belonging to someone else and tried to replace it with a perfect match?
Nope. You must have me confused with an old sitcom. However, since my house fire back in '99, I have frequently attempted to find replacements for things I used to have...

The Friday Five is still on vacation.

My friend Thomas
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ran a very nice obituary of Thomas Fuller on Saturday. I don't know how long it will stay up...

(The print version of the article actually sends you to two websites for further information on Thomas: The Pirate Hunter page and my ARTC page.)

The personals
Thursday Threesome:
Onesome. Through-What torments (or pleasures) do you have to go through to get to your Thanksgiving Day destination? ...or are you one of those who stays home? ...or perhaps someone who works on this holiday?
The torments have to do with being married and having both families live in easy driving distance. You'd think that would be a good thing, but it often forces us to either choose between them or visit both on the same day.

Twosome. Thick-Who are you looking forward to seeing this weekend? ...and is this a special gathering with friends and family from far away or more of a routine get together?
Boy, was this a badly-timed question. Going to a funeral on Sunday. One of my best friends.

Threesome. and Thin-Are you going to thin your wallet or purse down a bit on Friday? ...or is it time to do some decorating? ...or are you just glad it's over?
My wallet is too darned thin as it is. Don't expect to do it any more damage.

The Friday Five is still on vacation.

There but for the grace
I've been distracted.

Regular readers will know (and if you don't know, just scroll down) that I'm in the process of recovering from a heart attack and stroke. Previously, in the hospital and immediately after being released, I was optimistic that I would recover fully.

I have become somewhat less secure in this assumption lately, for no good reason. This, too, is probably apparent from my last medical update. I am not thinking as clearly, as sharply as I think I was, but this could simply be because I am not required to, not yet having returned to the daily grind (due mostly to my eyesight).

I do still realize how lucky I am, and it is premature to draw any conclusions regarding the completeness of my recovery, but I also realize that I am in no sense a medical miracle. Nobody owes me a full recovery. Brain damage is a tricky thing.

What happened once could happen again: What was blithe ignorance is now uncertainty. Having one heart attack or stroke increases the risk of another. I've had two each.

But nothing had shaken me so much as the events of last Friday morning.

A good friend of mine, Thomas Fuller (all of you who know me in the Real World know him), had a heart attack while driving his youngest son to school. He wasn't as fortunate as I was. He lost consciousness immediately. He has not awakened. He is not expected to awaken. His body is alive, but...

I can't say it. I won't. I find, old cynic that I am, that I still believe in miracles. It's horribly unfair that he should leave us just as he's beginning to achieve the creative success he's always deserved.

The last conversation we had was about my close call. His doctors had warned him that he must lose weight and change his habits. My experience, he said, would serve as an example. See what happens?

On Thursday they turn off the machines, and we will see what happens.

Cell phone as security blanket
From Dan Bricklin's Log:

That moment with the cell phone brought up another image I saw earlier in the day: A woman getting out of the driver's seat in her car and opening up the back door to take her small child out of a car seat while still clutching an object in her hand that she obviously felt was important -- her cell phone. I remember thinking: More and more I see people clutching their cell phones as a major source of comfort or something. It's like they are holding onto a railing when they walk down stairs: The cell phone gives them some sense of security. I feel that it represents a lifeline to the rest of our circle of important people, and we treat it as such. It's a space warp that connects us to others we need as we go through life.

I think you're reading too much into a casual gesture, Dan. In my experience, one of the weakest, feeblest gadgets we use daily is the belt clip that is supposed to keep a cell phone safe. If you want to keep it intact and, er, handy, better keep it in your hand.

On the other hand, some people do use their cell phones in a manner that I would consider excessive: Just because you can phone while driving, or making a purchase at the convenience store, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Pelosi elected minority leader?
Is it April already? The Democrats really think they lost the elections because they weren't liberal enough?

The personals
Thursday Threesome:
Onesome. Shake- Is there anything that makes you shake in your shoes? Any phobias you'd like to share?
Well, I'm trying real hard not to let it spook me, but after my stroke, I'd have to say I really don't like having a week-long hole in my memory.

Twosome. Rattle- What's rattling around in your mental trunk that you need to take care of?
Not sure what you mean by that. But the aforementioned stroke has impaired my confidence in dealing with day-to-day events. Still working on that.

Threesome. and Roll- When you run up against an unexpected challenge, do you adapt and roll with it or scrap your original plan and go with Plan B?
It seems logical to choose as events warrant. Sometimes sticking with the plan is the right move: Sometimes it's time for a new plan. Each challenge defines its appropriate response.

The Friday Five is on vacation this week.