What's appropriate?

BestBuy Heath Ledger Memorial
Originally uploaded by DLJenningsII

The Consumerist | Best Takes In-Store Display Cashing In On Heath Ledger's Death Very Seriously
Hours after actor Heath Ledger's death, a Best Buy store already had a table set up with his DVDs on sale, urging customers to "remember a great actor through his great performances."

The user comments are the most entertaining part of this story. If you've never worked in retail (as it's obvious many of these people have not), this display raises an issue you should think about.

This particular tempest has two components:

Is it appropriate for the retailer to create a display collecting an actor's work when he dies?

Well, yes, of course. No one would have denied the suitability of such a display for, say, Michael Caine, or Sean Connery, or Clint Eastwood, on such faraway day as any of them meets his maker. Public figures die all the time. I would expect retailers to be ready for it.

Does this display in particular look cheap, tacky and thrown-together?

Boy, does it ever. I would hate to think that Best Buy's marketing layout is so rigidly planned that there's no flexibility in it to replace an end-cap (one of those displays at the end of the aisle) with something of indisputably timely interest should events dictate it. The store should have a stack of blank printer compatible signage, and a computer with the chain's chosen display fonts installed.

What am I saying? All that would require thought. I've shopped at Best Buy. I've talked to the people who work there. This fan-club bake-sale-esque table is probably the best they can do.

An icon is gone

Hydrox cookie Originally uploaded by milatchi

It may say something about the dedication inspired in generations of sweet-toothed Americans that, although Sunshine / Keebler / Kellogg stopped making Hydrox cookies in 2003, its loyal fans are only just now beginning to notice that they can't find one anywhere.

WSJ | The Hydrox Cookie Is Dead, and Fans Won't Get Over It
Robert Fliegel was craving a Hydrox. The 52-year-old computer consultant says he always liked the way the chocolate sandwich cookie, which he found crisper than Oreos, "stood up to the milk" when dunked.

But Mr. Fliegel, who used to be able to devour an entire package of the crème-filled biscuits in a sitting, couldn't find them in any stores near his East Stroudsburg, Pa., home.

Only when he went online a few months ago to try to order some did he learn the truth: Hydrox is dead.

In 2003, without warning or announcement, Kellogg Co. killed off the cookie -- by then rechristened Droxies -- after failing to gain ground against the dominant Oreo, one of the country's best-selling snack foods.

I'm thinking that if they really were as enormous as that photograph makes them look, they might still be around.

Old W. K. Kellogg must be spinning to know that "his" health-food company now owns Keebler.

Monday Matinee: The Water Horse

The Water Horse begins like a lyrical Scottish fairy tale, which I guess in a sense it is. And with a rating of PG, it's clear that it is intended for children.

So I suppose I must forgive it for its biggest flaw: It is relentlessly, numbingly predictable.

From the moment each cardboard character hits the screen, you know where they're going to end up. Oh, look, a couple of young tourists meet an old man in a pub who's going to tell them a story. I wonder who he's going to turn out to be? Oh, look, the boy lives on the shore of a loch, I wonder which loch it could possibly be? Oh, look, he's deathly afraid of the water, whatever could cure him of that, do you think? A pet, perhaps? He's obsessively counting the days until his father's tour of duty ends, do you think maybe Mom already knows that Dad isn't coming home? Mom meets a mysterious handyman, I wonder if they'll fall in love?

The only real surprise is that, in a World War II era story in which Nazis are spoken of almost incessantly, we never actually see one. I half hoped the handyman would turn out to be that cinematic rarity, a good German...but...

You have to really enjoy watching the playful CGI title character (you know who he is, right?), because he may be the best actor in the movie. Okay, that's not really fair. The acting is overall quite good, and everyone seems well cast.

But by the fourth or fifth time someone backs off, sputtering and screaming, from their first sight of Crusoe the sea-sick sea serpent, I would think even the kids would be tired of it.

Oh noes, I has not ideea agin.

moar funny pictures

Blizzard of '08

Blizzard of '08
Originally uploaded by bonnieanderik.

I was caught out with only my cell phone camera. I tried to take pictures of the flurry, but the shutter stays open too long: The snow has time to fall, and in so doing blurs to invisibility.

But I knew if I checked Flickr, someone else would have captured a moment, and sure enough they did.

If it moves and it shouldn't...

If it doesn't move, and it should, use WD40.
If it moves and it shouldn't,
use duct (duck) tape.
Originally uploaded by jimfrazier.

When Forbes magazine conducted their "20 Most Important Tools" survey, there was a 21st tool that just wouldn't be left out.

Forbes | The Other Greatest Tool Ever
Models use it to create cleavage. Sled-dog drivers use it to prevent frostbite. Athletes use it to support weak joints. Veterinarians use it to repair horses' hooves.

What's this wonder tool? Duct tape.

There's no denying that Duck Tape Saves the Day.

Monday Media: Don't Buy the Liverwurst

If you're having trouble thinking of anything else that "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh" guy did, here's a classic video in which Dean Martin and Vic Damone present a medley of lyrics made famous...well, let's be honest, made only slightly less obscure...by the inimitable Allan Sherman.

"Dad, what's a 'single'?"

Early Single
Originally uploaded by Tavallai.

Wired | Jan. 10, 1949: A Brand-New Format for the Shirelles, Drifters
1949: The 45-rpm record is introduced by RCA. Can rock 'n' roll be far behind?

Flat disc records began replacing the cylinder for reproducing recorded sound as early as 1887. The original standard, what we know as the 78, had a 10-inch diameter disc with a rotational speed of between 75 and 80 rpm.

The 78 remained the standard for portable recorded sound until the mid-20th century, despite some severe limitations. For one thing, the disc didn't hold much, meaning that longer works, typically classical music, had to be broken in mid-composition (which makes the 78 seem a little like the vinyl forerunner of the four-track tape).

Columbia introduced the 33-rpm disc in 1948, which mostly solved that problem, and its rival, RCA, was right behind with the 45. Despite a diameter of only 7 inches, the 45 could hold as much sound as the 78, and was far more portable and cheaper to produce.

The beauty of this technology is this: You could watch it play and see how it worked. Every bit of the science that made sound happen was visible.

With an iPod, on the other hand, there are no moving parts larger than electrons. The basic parts are still there (data storage, scanning, conversion from physical to electronic form, transportation to vibrating surface, conversion from electronic form to vibrating air) but there's nothing you can see going on. And a common phenomenon of everyday life gets a little more obscure.

It might as well be magic.

Save the African Blackwood

Bagpipes
Originally uploaded by MNicoleM.

Scotsman.com | Bagpipes a threat to the environment (and we're not talking noise pollution)
THEY were once outlawed for being used as seditious weapons of war. Now, bagpipes have been blasted as an environmental menace.

Over-intensive logging means that the African wood used to make Scotland's national instrument faces being wiped out.

Conservation groups are letting out skirls of protest, urging musicians and instrument manufacturers to make sure their pipes come from eco-friendly sources.

As part of the campaign, Scots are being asked to fund the planting of "bagpipe trees" in a bid to atone for the environmental damage.

Anything that reduces the numbers of bagpipes in the wild has to be good.

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.

-Alfred Hitchcock

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

When I get older, losing my rights, not-so-many years from now

Originally uploaded by bgimbel.

I know, it's only a week since Public Domain Day 2008, so you may still be recovering from the parties. This reminder shows, though, that all of our public domain problems are not yet solved.

You know how hard Disney has been fighting to keep Mickey Mouse protected under their corporate copyright? You ain't seen nothin'.

Reuters | UK rejects music copyright extension
The British government rejected a plea to extend copyright laws for sound recordings to beyond 50 years on Tuesday, prompting the music industry to accuse it of not supporting musicians and artists.

The music industry had won support from opposition politicians and a parliamentary committee in its bid for a copyright extension that would allow veterans such as Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney to carry on receiving royalties in later life.

Ars Technica | Beatles music to start entering UK public domain in 2012?
The Gowers Review has been a big deal in Britain, where former Financial Times editor Andrew Gowers is chairing a commission that will suggest ways to reform the UK's intellectual property laws. One key piece of the Review will focus on the copyright term for sound recordings. Artists and publishers want the term extended from its current 50 years to 95 years, but an inside source has now confirmed that the Review will not recommend the 45-year extension, according to the BBC.

Given the high-profile names that argued for the extension—musicians like Sir Cliff Richard and Bono—the news is a surprising victory for those in favor of more limited copyright terms. The official report from the Gowers Review is expected in the first week of December, and if the government acts on its conclusions [see above: they did], then songs from hit acts like The Beatles will come out of copyright in the next few years.

"My Bonnie" may already be unprotected, but there'll be no question when "Love Me Do" falls in 2012. Boy, if all those "it was twenty years ago today" headlines in 1988 made you feel old, just wait until 2018, when "Sgt Pepper" goes public domain. Coincidentally enough, when I'm sixty-four.

Monday Media: I do not hate Celine Dion

I have tried, oh, how I have tried. I liked Titanic but I got so sick of that darned song. But still I couldn't shake the feeling that Dion herself was a talented musician with more range than she was typically called upon to show.

But I also enjoy Barry Manilow and Nine Inch Nails (two names that may never have been said in the same sentence before), so you can take that for what it's worth.

The thesis of the following video is: Celine Dion is Amazing. I'm not sure I'm convinced of that, but the video certainly is.

I'd rather be awake

World's Most Ironic Coffee Mug
Originally uploaded by bkmcae.

I suffer from occasional insomnia. My doctor, as so many doctors do, prescribed ambien.

Now, I have no real horror story to tell. I took it, and promptly fell asleep (as I'd been warned I would) and stayed asleep for eight-plus hours (as I'd also been warned I would). When I awoke, I awoke more rested and refreshed than I'd felt in weeks.

But my wife told me I'd awakened earlier than I remembered awakening -- sort-of. She gave me an early-morning list of things to do that day, as she often does. I responded appropriately, but she immediately recognized that I wasn't really awake.

All this she told me later. I don't remember a bit of it.

So she waited a few minutes and gave me the list again, and this time I remembered it later. No harm, no foul, all is OK, right?

Well, yeah, if you don't mind losing a half-hour in which only your wife can tell you're still asleep. (I've been subjected to hospital anesthesia three times in the past year, and the same thing happens when I awaken. It doesn't happen when I'm sleeping "naturally".)

I did a little research. I got off lucky.

Run a Google search for ambien sleepwalking. Read a few stories.

Rx List | Ambien and Sleepwalking
I have been taking Ambien for about 12-16 months now. Prior to taking this, I never experienced sleepwalking (I am 59 years old). I was really unnerved this morning upon awakening. On my kitchen counter were 4 apples, 1 egg, mixing bowl, cutting board, 1/4 cup orange juice, paring knife, steak knife--and in my den, on my sofa, my favorite cookbook. I HAVE NO MEMORY OF GATHERING THESE ITEMS.

Washington Post | To Sleep, Perchance to...Walk
There is no reliable estimate of how many Ambien users sleepwalk, and no one knows who might be at risk. The prescribing information for Ambien lists somnambulism as a "rare side" effect, meaning that it has been reported in fewer than one in 1,000 patients.

New York Times | Study Links Ambien Use to Unconscious Food Forays
The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients, according to emerging medical case studies that describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.

The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves.

New York Times | Sleeping Pill Users Range Far Beyond Bed
With a tendency to stare zombie-like and run into stationary objects, a new species of impaired motorist is hitting the roads: the Ambien driver.

Ambien, the nation's best-selling prescription sleeping pill, is showing up with regularity as a factor in traffic arrests, sometimes involving drivers who later say they were sleep-driving and have no memory of taking the wheel after taking the drug.

...A registered nurse who lives outside Denver took Ambien before going to sleep one night in January 2003. Sometime later — she says she remembers none of the episode — she got into her car wearing only a thin nightshirt in 20-degree weather, had a fender bender, urinated in the middle of an intersection, then became violent with police officers, according to her lawyer.

The New Yorker | The Ambien Cookbook
Sorpresa con Queso
Ingredients: 7 bags Cheetos, 17 to 19 glasses tap water, 5 mg. Ambien
Place Cheetos bags in cupboard. Take Ambien, fall asleep. Wait 2-3 hours, then sleepwalk to kitchen, tear cupboard doors off hinges in search of Cheetos…eat contents of all 7 bags…

Tell me: Am I over-reacting?

Happy Public Domain Day!

music piracy
Originally uploaded by Slider22.

Boing Boing and Copyright Watch are celebrating Public Domain Day, or January 1 as the rest of us call it. As of today in the United States, the unpublished works of authors who died 70 years ago will enter the public domain.

Just imagine what nuggets of literature must reside in that collection.

As for me, I'm thinking, as I so often do during the holidays, of that besieged agency that fights for the rights and money of musicians everywhere, the Recording Industry Association of America. Seeing that millions of American music consumers no longer know what they can legally do with the CDs they've bought or received for Christmas, the RIAA, with its lawsuit against Jammie Thomas, has clarified its position beyond any possibility of misunderstanding.

What can I legally do with this CD I just bought?

Why, you can listen to it on a CD player.

Can I copy it to...

Nope.

But wait. I didn't tell you how I was going to copy it, or where.

Doesn't matter. You can't copy it. At all. Period.

But I got this new iPod for Christmas...

My, yes, that is a handsome model. I'll bet it sounds terrific.

I wouldn't know, there's no music on it.

That's a shame.

I'd like to listen to these songs.

You can.

But you just said...

All you have to do is buy them from iTunes.

But I bought the CD!

*blank expression* Yeah?

So I thought I'd copy the songs to...

Ah ah ah. That would be stealing.

But I bought the CD!

But you didn't buy a license to make a digital copy of the music.

But I bought the CD!

You keep using that word, "bought".
I don't think it means what you think it means.

Welcome to music in the 21st century.

"God is in the details. But there are no details anymore."

waveforms, precious little waveforms
Originally uploaded by altemark.

Rolling Stone | The Death of High Fidelity
David Bendeth, a producer who works with rock bands like Hawthorne Heights and Paramore, knows that the albums he makes are often played through tiny computer speakers by fans who are busy surfing the Internet. So he's not surprised when record labels ask the mastering engineers who work on his CDs to crank up the sound levels so high that even the soft parts sound loud.

Over the past decade and a half, a revolution in recording technology has changed the way albums are produced, mixed and mastered — almost always for the worse. "They make it loud to get [listeners'] attention," Bendeth says. Engineers do that by applying dynamic range compression, which reduces the difference between the loudest and softest sounds in a song. Like many of his peers, Bendeth believes that relying too much on this effect can obscure sonic detail, rob music of its emotional power and leave listeners with what engineers call ear fatigue. "I think most everything is mastered a little too loud," Bendeth says. "The industry decided that it's a volume contest."

Producers and engineers call this "the loudness war," and it has changed the way almost every new pop and rock album sounds. But volume isn't the only issue. Computer programs like Pro Tools, which let audio engineers manipulate sound the way a word processor edits text, make musicians sound unnaturally perfect. And today's listeners consume an increasing amount of music on MP3, which eliminates much of the data from the original CD file and can leave music sounding tinny or hollow. "With all the technical innovation, music sounds worse," says Steely Dan's Donald Fagen, who has made what are considered some of the best-sounding records of all time. "God is in the details. But there are no details anymore."

Ah, you young people. You don't remember.

Way back when FM radio first began to crawl out of its niche and into the mainstream, it sounded beautiful. Compared to the tinny crackle of AM, FM was clean, pure sound, with clear, dynamic highs and quiet lows -- and, almost unheard-of (so to speak) today, the occasional moment of true silence.

Today, I can't hear the difference between AM and FM. The sound I used to associate with FM one must now buy satellite radio to get. The conspicuous exception is public radio. I can't tell for sure if they are actually maintaining the same standards they always have, or have simply not drifted as far downwards, but compared to it, listening to other music stations is like being beaten with a blunt instrument.

The computer's down, so...

Whole Foods Market
Originally uploaded by JustJon.

Hartford Courant | Whole Foods Shows You Can Get Something For Nothing
It could not have happened at a worse time. A major snowstorm was howling outside. Whole Foods supermarket at Bishops Corner in West Hartford was jammed with shoppers anxious to get home for dinner.

Suddenly, the computer crashed. None of the cash registers could function. Ted Donoghue, the assistant manager running the store on the afternoon of Dec. 13, consulted associates and made a snap decision:

All customers passing through the registers would get their food for free until the computers were working again.

"It was clearly a snafu on our end, and it didn't seem right" to punish the customers by making them wait, Manager Kimberly Hall said.

(Heard it from The Consumerist.)

What is Santa's favourite pizza?

Cracker
Originally uploaded by BarryGardner.

Telegraph | Top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes ever
Hold onto your party crown and steady your port glass as we reveal the worst Christmas cracker jokes of all time.

What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even.

(Start singing "Good King Wenceslaus", you'll get it.)

How long before they blame this on Bush?

IMG_4686
Originally uploaded by womenvote2020.

Reuters | Clinton urges Iowa voters to caucus on wrong day
DES MOINES (Reuters) - Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton may have shot herself in the foot trying to get Iowa voters to pledge support to her -- she is encouraging them to go caucus on January 14, 11 days too late.

At a rally featuring her husband, former U.S. President Bill Clinton on Saturday, campaign workers asked supporters to sign and mail cards that said "Yes! I'm an Iowan for Hillary" with their contact information as well as other supportive friends.

One small problem. In the upper right-hand corner of the card, it says "I, _____, pledge to support Hillary Clinton at my precinct caucus on January 14, 2008."

Unfortunately, that's 11 days too late. The Iowa caucuses are January 3 and organization is key to getting voters to go to the events and support their preferred candidate.

With this year's bouncing primaries and caucuses, can you really blame the poor schmo who got it wrong?

So when CAN I name him?

Abbott & Costello Meet The Keystone Kops (1955)
Originally uploaded by filmwolf.

USA Today | Child cannot be named Friday
Italian judges forbade a couple from naming their son Friday, saying it would bring the child shame and ridicule to be named after the character in Robinson Crusoe.

"They thought that it recalled the figure of a savage, thus creating a sense of inferiority and failing to guarantee the boy the necessary decorum," the couple's lawyer, Paola Rossi, said Wednesday.

Mara and Roberto Germano, whose son was born on Sept. 3, 2006, had the boy named and baptized Venerdi, Italian for Friday.

Even though the boy was not born on a Friday — it was Sunday — his parents liked the name, said Rossi.

So what's his name?
Friday.
What's his name?
Friday.
Do you know the kid's name?
I should say I do.
Then what is it?
Friday.
Today.
Friday.
Can't you tell me today?
Of course I can.
Well, tell me the kid's name.
Friday.
This IS Friday.
Right.
So tell me the kid's name.
Friday.

"Hark The Herald Angels Sing ...About Me"

Woman's Day Cover - Dec. 1946
Originally uploaded by diann0605.

Daily Mail | Mental health charity sparks outrage with spoof Christmas carols
A bad taste top ten of Christmas carols poking fun at mental illness has been slammed as "degrading" and "insensitive" after it was published with the backing of a social services department.

The booklet contains a list titled "Christmas Carols for the Mentally Disturbed".

1. Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disorientated Are
3. Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
4. Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and...
6. Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent Night, Holy, ooh look at the froggy - Can I have a chocolate? Why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.

I'm trying to think of a good #11... Aha.

• Alcoholism - Here We Come A-Wassailing
  

It's... THEM!

Mon souper de Fête...
Originally uploaded by viiny.

Spiegel | Seafood Escapes from German Supermarket
Lobsters in Germany took fate into their own claws and broke out of an Asian supermarket. They now face a brighter future in an animal home.

Dozens of lobsters destined to be boiled alive made a successful getaway from an Asian supermarket in the German city of Stuttgart in the early hours of Sunday morning, police said.

The clawed crustaceans, some of them up to 15 centimeters long, managed to crawl out of their crates, which had been poorly secured with wire mesh, then scurried across the floor of the supermarket and squeezed through the metal shutters covering the front of the store. The front door had been left open by mistake.

"The breakout was successful," Katrin Brandeis, spokeswoman for the Stuttgart police, told SPIEGEL ONLINE. "Passers by alerted the police at 1:45 a.m. reporting a large number of the animals heading down the street."

The escape may have saved their lives. "These animals weren't ever going to be pets," Brandeis said. "Now they've been taken to an animal home. The supermarket hasn't got in touch with us."

"Taken to an animal home"? They're stolen property, not homeless.

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I feel I must point out that Lincoln didn't free any lobsters.

Hell, next they'll be voting and getting drivers' licenses.

*Looks closer at the story"

Ah. Germany. Wait. Lobsters got rights in Germany?

But wait, there's more

What a deal!
Originally uploaded by peachtree5911.

I wonder how many green eggs they've sold since this promotion started.

my name is lisa

Watch with caution. This short film may make you cry.

As long as it's on sale

Great for Ramadan, too! (Photo from Seth's Blog.)

In fact, there's only one black family in America.

How do you outrage library patrons? Well, you let them find King & King on your shelves, in which a lonely Prince finds and, ultimately, marries his Prince Charming. Because, of course, parents will just scoop up any old thing and start reading to their kids (well, at least they're reading to their kids) without checking it themselves first.

Or Pat Conroy's Prince of Tides and Beach Music. Because high school students shouldn't be exposed to books that feature violence, suicide and sex. (Parents, do you never check the reading lists your kids bring home? It's a wonder the teen suicide rate isn't double what it is, after they've read On the Beach and 1984. It's a rare assigned book that the protagonist actually lives through.)

And if it's not the books causing trouble, it's the computers, those vile silicon temptresses.

As long as we're in the library, we could check @ the Library, Librarian.net, Librarian Avengers, and The Society for Librarians Who Say Mo--... well, if language is an issue for you, you might think twice about that one.

The Lack of Toilets on Star Trek

Oh noes I has not ideea fur blogin

moar funny pictures

Newton's Third Law

I'm detecting a pro-reproduction bias in the Daily Mail. See if you agree.

Daily Mail | Meet the women who won't have babies - because they're not eco friendly

At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilised to "protect the planet".

"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni [Vermelli], 35.

"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."

I'm all for it when people with little to no parental inclinations decide not to reproduce. The "reporters," though, make no attempt to hide their disgust and horror. They barely manage not to chortle when the woman admits that she and her husband "have a much nicer lifestyle as a result of not having children," which they describe at some length.

Daily Mail | Woman told she'd had a miscarriage - then has triplets instead

When she was told she had suffered a miscarriage, Beverley Cunningham was devastated.

At the age of 40, she feared her last chance to have another baby had slipped away.

But only 24 hours later, after a scan to confirm the miscarriage, she and her husband Andrew were given the most incredible news.

Mrs Cunningham was still pregnant - with triplets.

At odds of nearly a million to one, she had conceived quads naturally, but had miscarried one of them at 12 weeks.

The story tries to present this as a feel-good story of a woman's triumph over a medical setback, having long-desired children despite the odds. The detail that these are children number five, six and seven glides by almost unnoticed.

But check the message board at Fark.com for conjecture that one of these children is...evil.

(Newton's third law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.)

In the Eye of the Beholder

In the Eye of the Beholder
Originally uploaded by ixnay_.

Housecleaning...

Is there a proper way to load a dishwasher? Apparently.

Over time, this habit — establishing and maintaining eye contact — creates favorable situations and produces results. The eye-contact specialist gets talked to first, dealt with most promptly, and responded to most thoroughly. He's always first in line for a reason.

Most people (even many who work on the brain) assume that what you see is pretty much what your eye sees and reports to your brain. In fact, your brain adds very substantially to the report it gets from your eye, so that a lot of what you see is actually "made up" by the brain.

"Ha ha ha"?

Schöne Bescherung! Feliz Navidad! Merry Christmas!
Originally uploaded by Ma-Eh.

Yahoo News (AFP) | Santas warned 'ho ho ho' offensive to women
SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

...A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.

Why not try the Woody Woodpecker laugh? There's a Santa with style.

Did you change your clocks?

the homeless tourist
Originally uploaded by workingsux.

Well, it could be worse.

Santa Rosa Press Democrat | Study ties time shift, pedestrian deaths
Fischbeck and Gerard conducted a preliminary study of seven years of federal traffic fatalities and calculated risk per mile walked for pedestrians. They found that per-mile risk jumps 186 percent from October to November, but then drops 21 percent in December.

They said the drop-off by December indicates the risk is caused by the trouble both drivers and pedestrians have adjusting when darkness suddenly comes an hour earlier.

The reverse happens in the morning when clocks are set back and daylight comes earlier. Pedestrian risk plummets, but there are fewer walkers then, too. The 13 lives saved at 6 a.m. don't offset the 37 lost at 6 p.m., the researchers found.

...The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety of Arlington, Va., in earlier studies found the switch from daylight saving time to standard time increased pedestrian deaths. Going to a year-round daylight saving time would save about 200 deaths a year, the institute calculated, said spokesman Russ Rader.

The answer to the number of lives, and the amount of money, that might be saved if we just leave the clocks the f**k alone awaits another study.

The Fightin' ...what?

Cracked magazine is gone, I think, but the website lives on. Today they have a list of the World's Most Ridiculous Sports Team Names, which is pretty fertile ground for ridicule if you take any of them seriously.

My all-time favorite, the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs, is on their list -- although they considered it a runner-up in their "Non-Threatening Animals" category. Their winner: Japanese pro baseball's the Hiroshima Toyo Carp.

And you'd think "Non-Threatening Inanimate Objects", which includes the Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes and the winning Teutopolis (H.S.) Wooden Shoes would have room for -- nay, be dominated by -- the Wichita State University Shockers and their mascot, Wushock (pictured). But, no, he's conspicuously absent.

I'm not a sports fan, and never have been, but I have a fondness for odd team mascots. Perhaps this is because at my high school, we were the Golden Tornadoes. And our colors were gold (duh) and maroon, which I always thought worked well together. That changed in my senior year, to Warhawks, but what high school senior is really interested in anything that happens at school any more?

I'm dreaming of a white Halloween

Tacky Christmas
Originally uploaded by ulla*.

You'll never guess what happened yesterday.

Well, that's a lie. You'll guess quite easily if you live in Kansas City. The lucky listeners of KCKC (Star 102.1) are now among the first in the nation to enjoy all-Christmas music, all the time.

Yes, on Halloween.

Crosstown rival Cuddle 98.1 wasted little time in doing the same, today, November 1.

Meanwhile, Walmart is making five of its "Black Friday" specials available tomorrow.

CORRECTION: The first radio station to flip their format to all-Christmas in 2007 was WNOU Indianapolis, who did the deed on October 8 to begin their "93 Days of Christmas". Incidentally, they're also getting their "contemporary hit" audience out of the habit of listening to them, since they're changing their call letters to WEXM and their format to all-talk effective January 9. But there's still a WNOU, since WYJX has bought the station's call letters, format, intellectual property, and as many of the existing staff as are willing to make the move. I really don't understand the radio industry.

I hate halloween

Yodog
Originally uploaded by myhappylittleplace.

I always have.

"The real world is really tough"

This year's "whiny college graduate unprepared for the job market" letter to the editor is in the Buffalo News.

Upon graduating, I was helplessly launched headfirst into the “real world,” equipped with a degree in history and $32,000 in student loans. Before ricocheting back home, I would learn two important lessons: 1) There are no well-paying — let alone paying — jobs for history majors. 2) The real world is really tough.

(That should be "there are no paying — let alone well-paying — jobs for history majors". That's how the "this, let alone that" structure is used: The first example is general, the second more specific. Otherwise it makes no sense. But then you're a history major, not a language major, aren't you?)

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and I had no intention of living in a society that was as unfair as this one. To seek a haven devoid of the ruthless 9-to-5 ebb and flow of contemporary America, I moved to Alaska.

As a liberal arts major, I dreamed of making a profound difference in people’s lives.

Doing what, exactly? What kind of life would you judge your history degree has prepared you for? What did you have in mind?

Instead, for a year, I lived in Coldfoot, a town north of the Arctic Circle that resembles a Soviet Gulag camp. My job as a tour guide for visitors...

This "Soviet Gulag camp" of a town has a tourism industry? Why, yes it does. It isn't the bustling metropolis Cicely is, but it has its charms -- apparently lost on Ken, here.

I've read this letter five or six times now, and it keeps getting funnier every time I read it. I just wish the paper had done a sidebar interview with his parents.

---

See also:

• Life Lessons (Shawna Gale, the grad from Yale)
• Does this mean I come with course credit?

Not that there's anything wrong with that

AP | J.K. Rowling outs Hogwarts character
Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.

Tristan and Isolde. Merlin and Nimue. Dumbledore and Grindelwald.

Doesn't quite have the same mythic je ne se quoi, does it?

C'mon. Despite its phenomenal popularity, the Potter series is a children's book. Authority figures in children's books are almost completely sexless. The tragedy of the relationship between Dumbledore and Grindelwald works without introducing the "romance that was not meant to be" motif into it.

Argh. Every minute I spend thinking about this yields another wrongness.

"I'm Dumbledore's man."

"Is it love again?" said Voldemort, his snake's face jeering. "Dumbledore's favorite solution, love..."

"Severus Snape wasn't yours," said Harry. "Snape was Dumbledore's..."

Headmaster. AAARGGGHH!

Weekend Monitor

purple skies.
Originally uploaded by D.James.

Yike! My defibrillator is being recalled!

Don't jog during thunderstorms!

Hypothesis: The little picture of a gas pump next to your car's fuel indicator tells you which side of your car the gas tank is on. Can this possibly be true?

CNN Money: Over half of the $8 billion the IRS expected to pay out in phone tax refunds remains unclaimed.

Freakonomics: If the personal computer were being put on the market for the first time now, what would they call it?

Argh Ink: The secret to writing romance is understanding the Glittery HooHa.

CNN: Bonnie Raitt answers your questions about nuclear power.

Wise Bread: Cracking the infamous McDonald's Monopoly Game.

Baltimore Sun: Believe your noodly master, Hon.

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Special section: Education

For class of S.F. high school juniors, WWII details are elusive

School District Halts Shakespeare Production: Official Cites 'Inappropriate' Content

A crossword puzzle assigned as a homework lesson for fifth-graders studying a book about the 19th-century South asked them to use a racial slur _ the N-word _ as an answer.

College students having sex -- well, a little

Orestad Gymnasium, Denmark

What would you do if you found your child's elementary school teacher topless on MySpace? Knoxville News Sentinel; WATE; TransWorldNews; Web Site Traffic Marketing (if you want to see the pictures in question; they're much more modest than you might imagine). As of Monday, she's been cleared to return to class, since an investigation has so far been unable to show she did anything wrong. (She may not have posted the photos herself.)

Happy Sputnik Day!

Sputnik cup holder
Originally uploaded by m5.

Thanks, Ron, for reminding me of this landmark.

New York Times: It's difficult to recapture the sense of paranoia and self-doubt that Sputnik created in the U.S., but the New York Times' coverage of that week helps a bit.

Ron adds:

The ‘New York Times’: Spreading paranoia and self-doubt for fifty years! :) (At least.)

And counting.

New York Times: After all, the first step into space was an achievement that transcended politics.

Bwah hah hah, I say, and furthermore, chortle. Ron observes:

Tell that ‘un to Wernher von Braun. He probably could have put ‘Explorer 1’ up a coupla months before ‘Sputnik,’ except that Dwight Eisenhower insisted America’s first satellite go up on a ‘civilian’ booster.

Here, there, and everywhere

pink AK-47
Originally uploaded by pinkrifledotcom.

Gun Marketers Sez: "Pink Is For Girls." (Original story at Ananova.)

Yahoo News: Forty percent of Americans have never lived when there wasn't a Bush or a Clinton in the White House.

Reuters: Advertisers aiming to reach high-flyers with no alternative distraction will soon have a new method: adverts the size of three football pitches seen by plane passengers coming in to land.

...Paul Jenkins, managing director of Ad-Air, said the adverts would appear in "clutter-free environments and moments free of any other commercial messages."

He sounds like he thinks this is a good thing.

I wonder where they found otherwise-undeveloped five-acre plots close enough to major airports to bother. Specifically, I wonder where the proposed Atlanta ad is.

On the plus side, you can't see it while you're stranded on the tarmac.

Ridley Scott Has Finally Created the Blade Runner He Always Imagined.

Consumerist: DirecTV is making automated calls to their Do Not Call List subscribers, offering them the option to reverse their decision.

We initiated this recent do-not-call update campaign in order to make sure that information about our customers' preferences is up to date and accurately reflects our customers' wishes. We have found that a customer who at one time requested to be put on our internal do-not-call list may later decide that he or she would like to receive information from us about a variety of things.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

What is the Monkeysphere?

Jim Nabors, perhaps best known as his loveable, often-bumbling character Gomer Pyle from the hit CBS television show “Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.,” was promoted to Honorary Corporal in a sunset ceremony held at Fort DeRussy in Waikiki Sept. 25.

Action Alive Weekly Panorama

Quick, how much are the roses being advertised for? Look again. No, again. Welcome to The Most Deceptive Sign in LA.

The Telegraph: Everyone is breaking the rules and being creative about how to use English," said Rukmini Bhaya Nair, a professor of English at the Indian Institute of Technology in Delhi. "It is finally being claimed by Indians as their own, instead of a relic of the Raj."

The columnist Anjali Puri said pride in Indian English also stemmed from the success of writers such as Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth and Salman Rushdie: "These writers have used English to portray Indian reality and it has given people the confidence to try out new words and play around with the language without being scared about whether they are correct."

So that's why I can't make sense of tech support. It's Salman Rushdie's fault. Boy, he's got a lot to answer for. "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well." I wasn't when I called, but I suspect I will be soon.

How the "Pina Colada" song really ended.

The Boston Globe: This may look like a rerun, but it's actually a different reader so mortally offended by a different library book that she's checked out both copies and refuses to return them.

Both libraries have ordered replacements for the books Karkos took. Speers ordered two more copies because of an increase in requests for the book after the (Lewiston) Sun Journal published a letter from Karkos condemning the book.

Maybe the woman works for the publisher, and this is a marketing campaign?

National Review: Dan Rather alleges CBS shut him up to protect George W. Bush.

The Daily Mail: It has all the hallmarks of a 1950s B-movie - a remote location, mysterious lights in the sky, a crater that appeared from nowhere, and a disease that spread like the plague through locals. But this is no science fiction film. Officials in Peru yesterday revealed that 200 people had fallen sick after an object from space crashed into the south of the country over the weekend.

The reporter compares the incident to The Andromeda Strain, but it looks more like The Colour Out of Space to me.

Daily Cup of Tech: Yes, bad PowerPoint presentations are so ubiquitous that a stand-up comic can build a non-tech-audience-ready routine out of one.

Arrr?

Sep. 19 - Talk like a pirate day
Originally uploaded by Zara Weeke Larsen.

Aye.

If yer can't talk like a pirate, perhaps you can knit like one.

On the Monitor Beacon

blue steel
Originally uploaded by klevo!.

DIY Life: "When my scissors get dull," says Anna Sattler, "I layer about 7 pieces of foil and cut through them, and the scissors are sharp once again." Does this really work?

Dragon*Con Podcasting - Podcasting in the Classroom: This panel featured three educators who are creating educational podcasts, and my wife who is skeptical that the thing can have any applications for, how shall I say it, neighborhoods that are less than affluent.

Montgomery Advertiser: The one about the teenager who was so offended at the sex scenes in a library book ("Sandpiper" by Ellen Whittlinger) that she's refusing to return it, so other teens won't be exposed to it. "'This book is sick,' said Pennington [the girl's grandmother]. 'I'm 50 years old, and I've raised 11 sets of kids and been through many a library, and I've never seen a book like this in a school library before.'"

Hm. If she's 50, and her granddaughter is 15, then she was 35 when her grandchild was born. Sounds to me like somebody in this family must not be as offended by the idea of teen sex as they let on. And how the heck does one raise "11 sets of kids" anyway?

The Telegraph: If you want to know the truth about good ol' barbecue, go to Britain, that's what I always say. I might never have known that "Kentucky is known for mutton" if I hadn't read it here.

Reuters: Two decades after a nude photo scandal helped cost a Miss America her title, Americans may be adopting a more ho-hum attitude toward people who bare it all for the cameras. This because the Disney company is prepared to forgive "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens her indiscretions.

Sex and nudity are also more prevalent on television, especially cable stations. Last week's opening episode of the HBO drama "Tell Me You Love Me," contained at least half-a-dozen sex acts. Oh, yeah, let's talk about that...

The New York Observer: Is the scrotum the new cleavage?

...Throughout the hour, as bodies moved and eyefuls of flesh and bikini waxes flashed, it was still the sight of that erect penis being clinically manipulated into a graphic orgasm that prompted did-I-just-see-what-I-think-I-saw gapes from less action-packed couches nationwide.

“Europeans have a totally different attitude about it,” [Darren Star, executive producer of "Sex and the City"] added. “I think the fact that we haven’t seen it in this country before is why it is so shocking when we do see it.”

I told you a couple of weeks ago that I didn't want to hear about how much more sophisticated the Europeans are, now that we know that to be an utter lie.

In conclusion, YouTube presents: The Potter Puppet Pals in "The Mysterious Ticking Noise."

DPM Weekend Monitor

Eros
Originally uploaded by Ray Radlein.

Joshua Harrison (at right) is an old friend of ARTC's. He wasn't in our DragonCon show this year, but he kept busy. Even Kari Byron doesn't look too bored.

Wired magazine: "An IM Infatuation Turned to Romance. Then the Truth Came Out." Then it came out again.

CNN: Madeleine L'Engle dead at 88.

Beloit College: To the class of 2011, MTV has never featured music videos, they never “rolled down” a car window, and the first time they ever saw Jack Nicholson was in "Batman".

The Sun: David Schwimmer says he won't appear in a Friends reunion. "It was ten years ago — and it’s time to move on.” Schwimmer's math aside (the show's final episode aired in May 2004, a tad over three years ago), I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Promise?"

The Textbook League: Physicist Richard Feynman on how and why school textbooks suck. ("Suck" is a technical term too advanced to define here.)

WSJ: Men, do you find yourself limiting contact with kids for fear that you'll be accused of being a predator?

Overheard Everywhere:
Woman reading newspaper: I can't believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah's wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.

DPM Weekend Update

Atlanta Hyatt Regency Lobby
Originally uploaded by disneymike.

This is the Atlanta Hyatt Regency, one of the host hotels for DragonCon, which is where I will be this coming weekend. If you're in the vicinity, you might drop by Friday night and watch the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company perform.

---

In other news...

How to deal with vagrants at conventions: As long as you're going to be in downtown Atlanta... On the other hand, anyone who should be traveling unsupervised should already know.

The lunar eclipse is tonight! Well, tomorrow morning in this time zone.

But the sign says $3.09: In Nebraska, gas stations sometimes advertise a lower price than they actually charge. "Under state law, the signs — which show in smaller print that the lower-priced gas is available only at certain pumps — are not illegal as long as gas is available at the lower price at even one pump."

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

But who owns them? "Mermaids have been performing at Weeki Wachee Springs for 60 years. The water district owns the land that Weeki Wachee Springs sits upon. As for who owns the mermaids, well, that is an interesting setup. There's a private company. But a few years ago its owner simply gave the company to the city of Weeki Wachee. (He got a tax break.) As for the "city," its population usually fluctuates somewhere between five and nine people, consisting of attraction employees." Isn't it enough that they're there?

Newscaster Emily Maitlis offends BBC viewers with flash of leg: No, really. I don't want to hear one more word about sophisticated Europeans smirking at America's puritanical attitudes about sex, you get me? Not one word.

And that's all we need to hear from Michael Vick, too: "Are you entering the plea of guilty to a conspiracy charge because you are in fact guilty?" Vick answered yes.

This is to enable mobile blogging from my mobile phone. Be afraid.

DPM Weekend Update with Dippy Bird

Drinking Bird
Originally uploaded by Private Ale.

Guerrilla librarianship: New blog Biologists Helping Bookstores features a crusading scientist called Ste who tries reorganising bookshop shelves to prevent pseudoscience featuring in the science categories.

Is This Man Cheating on His Wife?: Ric Hoogestraat sits at his computer with the blinds drawn, smoking a cigarette. While his wife, Sue, watches television in the living room, Mr. Hoogestraat chats online with what appears on the screen to be a tall, slim redhead. He's never met the woman outside of the computer world of Second Life... Their bond is so strong that three months ago, Mr. Hoogestraat asked Janet Spielman, the 38-year-old Canadian woman who controls the redhead, to become his virtual wife.

"What kind of moron would Tase an adult holding a baby?"

Heart attack victim saved by sales pitch: An elderly New Zealand man who suffered a heart attack at a hardware store was revived by a salesman who just happened to be demonstrating a defibrillator to store staff.

Wichita Man Left Stranded at Orlando Airport: A 72 year-old Wichita minister who traveled to Orlando earlier this week was left on a bench inside that city's airport for three days. Nobody realized that Kenneth Davis, the pastor at Wichita's Immanuel Outreach Center had suffered a stroke.

Two friends have dressed as a pantomime horse to climb the tallest mountain in Wales and England.

Toy tune offends mothers: The problem is how the digital voice singing the scale sounds with the combination Fa-Mi-Re-Mi. ..."She's like ‘fa, fa, fa,' and I was wondering why is she saying that?" Alexis Chacon said. "It was the toy. Then she says, ‘ra, ra, ra.' She's too small to learn those kinds of words. It's supposed to be Do-Re-Mi, and it's F-me-rape me." See also Consumerist. You laugh, but when's the last time you saw a toy typewriter?

Special "naked truth" section:

For those who hoped we'd see "Wash" again: [Alan] Tudyk is a familiar face to sci-fi fans for his role as Hoban "Wash" Washburne on the cult TV series "Firefly" and subsequent feature version, "Serenity." Tudyk has his most screen exposure in "Death at a Funeral": He spends about 90 percent of his screen time totally naked.

Follow-up: The Lush bath-products "Ask Me Why I'm Naked" promotion was actually international in scope, but in Victoria, CA, "only assistant manager Sahra MacLean went au naturel while handing out bars of Buffy Body Butter to slack-jawed tourists, flashing her backside to those who questioned whether she was 'really naked under there.'"

Nude virgins flee sex blaze: A teenage couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl's attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents' house, German daily Bild reported today. The couple, both 18, were pictured naked in the paper among the burned wreckage of the attic. I'm trying to think of any set of circumstances in which I could believe that it would seem logical for the newspaper to suggest that the "kids" go back into the burned room, naked, to pose for these photographs -- or that the "kids" would say "Sure, let's go."

The DPM Weekend Update with Dippy Bird

Dippy Bird
Originally uploaded by mrmoorey.

If this isn't a friendly audience, what is? Democratic presidential nominees sway helplessly in the breeze before the combined might of liberal bloggers at the Yearly Kos Convention.

Lookit them wild oats go: One in every 200 men alive today is a relative of Genghis Khan.

So, you're saying men can be librarians?

Do these pants make my butt look big? See for yourself with the dressing room buttcam.

The United Countries of Baseball.

Cinema of the Absurd: Can there ever really be too many films about clowns and gas chambers?

TV Legend Merv Griffin Dead At 82. See also a reminiscence by Mark Evanier for a glimpse of what Griffin was really like. Which is to say, pretty much the person you saw on the air. When being yourself has made you that rich, why bother to pretend?

It's a public library, right? I'm the public, right? Authorities say they have busted a serial book bandit who roamed Front Range libraries checking out thousands of books, tapes and DVDs and then selling many of them online.

Most detailed pictures of Earth ever seen: But, if I go outside with my cel phone and shoot the grass between my feet, won't it be more detailed than this?

Staff wear not enough packaging to protest too much packaging: Male and female staff at Lush in Watford's Harlequin shopping centre [and at Lincolnshire] stripped off to serve the public, wearing nothing but white aprons bearing the slogan "Ask me why I'm naked". The aim of the initiative was to highlight the overuse of packaging in the retail industry and to promote the environment. ("The store's naked campaign was part of a national effort, with similar events happening in 55 cities in the UK." There are stories from Cheltenham, Bristol, Edinburgh, Swindon, Wimbledon (2), Oxford, Bournemouth, and Cambridge.)

How does a Dippy Bird work?

News, Weak

Apple iPhone 23
Originally uploaded by tychay.

Phone scalpers? A half-million iPhones sold in the first two days, but only 146,000 activations? Awfully pricey for a paperweight. "The difference is going to be what was sold on eBay or activations that didn't happen immediately." What a nice way of saying they were bought by speculators who intended to resell them at a profit, rather than activate them.

14 Numbers Your Cell Phone Can’t Live Without.

Full circle: New cans of Coca-Cola look a lot like old cans of Coca-Cola. No fake condensation droplets; no yellow and green accents; no drop shadows. What a wild, new, innovative idea.

Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.

Attention Red Shirts: Don't beam down with the Captain. But if you can get him laid, your odds of survival improve.

And while I'm at Wikipedia, here are Wikipedia's Lamest Edit Wars.

How much trouble can you get into for goofing up a class picture?

Cheap kids' diversions: Recipes for flubber, goop, oobleck, play-doh and silly putty. Directions for folding paper airplanes. Free children's books to download.