"We are in the midst of a train wreck"

Columbus Dispatch | The years after 9/11 clearly show terrorism isn’t the threat it seemed
History has been derailed. It was chugging along quite satisfactorily until the end of 2000: the Cold War long over, no threat of a major war anywhere, democracy spreading even to the most unexpected places by nonviolent means and a growing commitment to multilateralism in all the major powers.

Now there is a great and greatly exaggerated fear of terrorism, American troops rule over 50 million deeply unhappy Muslims in Afghanistan and Iraq, the 55-year-old NATO alliance is starting to come apart under the strain and even the United Nations is at risk.

Was the world bound to end up in this mess, or have we been the victims of a huge historical accident?

The two main forces that have driven us off the familiar track and down this worrisome detour are the Islamist terrorists of al-Qaida and the neoconservatives who populate the upper reaches of the Bush administration. Was it really inevitable that al-Qaida would invent a novel way to carry out a massive terrorist attack that would cause thousands of casualties? And was it equally inevitable that American neoconservatives would use that terrible event as a launching pad for their own project?

Editorial writer Gwynne Dyer, unless I am reading him incorrectly, goes on to explain that the events of 9-11-01 could not possibly happen again and therefore required no military response.

Robert A. Heinlein | Letter to John W Campbell, dated 12-9-41
(From Grumbles From the Grave)
My feelings toward the Japs could be described as a cold fury. I not only want them to be defeated, I want them to be smashed. I want them to be punished at least a hundredfold, their cities burned, their industries smashed, their fleet destroyed, and finally, their sovereignty taken away from them. We have been forced into a course of imperialism. So let it be. Germany and Japan are not safe to have around; we are bigger and tougher than they are, I sincerely believe. Let’s rule them. We did not want it this way – but if somebody has to be boss, I want it to be us.

It is testimony to the innate decency of the American people that we are able to overcome this understandable reaction--that we wish to overcome it--and limit ourselves to destroying our enemies' ability to perform the American genocide they've so clearly said they desire.

Certainly, if we'd wished it, Afghanistan would have been glazed by now.

I would prefer, like Mr Dyer, to simply live my life and let Iraq go to hell in its own way. Much as I believe that the people of Iraq would prefer our way of life to Hussein's rule (and emigration statistics would seem to bear that out), much as I believe they should have that choice, I'm not sure that in itself is sufficient reason to invade Iraq.

But that's not why we did it.

It's obvious that the democrats believe this to be Bush's war, not theirs. Electing a Democratic president at this time will mean the end of the war and a statement before the United Nations to the effect of "You'll have to excuse the previous administration, he's an idiot."

It was the breast of times, it was the wurst of times

Reuters | Stern Blames Suspension on Janet Jackson's Breast
Radio shock-jock Howard Stern on Thursday blamed a conservative backlash prompted by the exposure of singer Janet Jackson's breast on television for the suspension of his show after a broadcast including talk of anal sex and offensive racial slurs.

... "I'm under attack. They've been after me since 1992, and they're having their way with me," he said referring to repeated troubles he has had with regulators. "Then Janet Jackson whipped out her boob and it's all over."

I think I speak for all America when I say, Janet, Justin... Thanks.

"It is a far, far better boob that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better breast that I go to than I have ever known." (Title and end quote, of course, from "A Tale of Two..." Ah, see, you're ahead of me.)

You've suspected it all along, but isn't it nice to know?

AP | Girl: Cat Saliva Cleaner Than Dog Drool
BELCOURT, N.D. - A young scientist says cat drool appears to be cleaner than that of dogs. Lacey Lafromboise, a fifth-grader at Turtle Mountain Elementary School in Belcourt, earned a trip to the Native American Science Fair in Albuquerque, N.M. by proving that her two dogs have more bacteria in their mouths than her two cats.

Lacey said she got the idea for the study while one of her dogs was licking her face.

Duh.

... Her mom, Sandy Lafromboise, got permission from a science professor to use an incubator and a microscope at Minot State University.

... Lacey said she's also practicing questions that judges may ask her.

I think if she phrases her report just right, no judge will dare ask for more information, for fear she might have some.

Well.

And the rest of the country laughs at how little it takes to bring Atlanta to a halt.

Tastes like chicken

All this talk of KFC yesterday made me hungry, so, inspired by the Commando Chicks, I did something utterly out of character: I dropped by my local KFC for lunch. This may be the first time in a decade I've been to a KFC: I'm not a big fan of fried chicken. But their three-piece chicken strip meal was delicious, the portions were generous, and the service was far better than I get at the other nearby fast food shops. I'll be back.

Take that, PETA.

PETA targets Portland

Apparently PETA really has it in for that particular KFC. Indymedia reports an earlier PETA protest there, in association with IDA (In Defense of Animals). (Well, "reports" is a strong word: They mirror the press release.) And they were there last November, too. Don't these people have jobs?

LATER: Even the Portland "Chickette" is not a first offender: I see from PETA's own files that they've appeared in Los Angeles, Charlotte, Tucson, San Diego, Johnson City, and even Kelowna, B.C., and coming soon to Tokyo. What, no tour calendar? (I wouldn't bother with those links if I were you. PETA press releases have a depressing sameness about them.)

Ah. I might have known. The girls have their own web page. Visit them at CommandoChicks.com, one of PETA's many, many, many domains. When not stalking KFC, they spend their time in grocery stores with ticket guns, adding labels to the store's packaged chicken: "Warning! This package contains the decomposing corpse of a small, tortured bird." (Well, I should hope so! If the bird were shrinkwrapped alive, that would be cruel.)

What a country.

Now praying at a theater near you

Scrappleface | Churches Buy All 'Passion' Tickets, 'Pagans can Wait'
Churches across America have bought up all of the theater tickets for the rest of this year's showings of the new Mel Gibson film The Passion of the Christ, so that church-going Christians can enjoy the movie repeatedly.

According to one denominational official, "pagans can wait until it comes out on DVD."

..."Once they see the movie," said an unnamed pastor of a small Illinois congregation, "they'll finally realize that what they've heard in church all these years is really true."

He's back...?

WXIA | Billy McKinney to Seek Old Seat
Former Georgia Rep. Billy McKinney, a fiery Democrat who lost his northwest Atlanta seat two years ago, will try again to win his old district, he said Monday.

...McKinney argues that Republican crossover voting in his primary race against Noel led to his defeat.

"Who knows John Noel? He's just a sweet tea man," said McKinney, referring a bill Noel sponsored last year to make require restaurants that serve iced tea to also serve sweet tea. "Everybody knows Billy McKinney."

We sure do. That could explain why you lost, sir.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred

I refuse to let this become a PETA-outrage-of-the-week site. However...

PETA | SEXY "CHICKETTE" BRINGS INTERNATIONAL PROTEST OF KFC CRUELTY TO PORTLAND
Portland, Ore. — Dressed in a showgirl-style chicken costume—complete with a faux-feather headdress—waving signs reading, "KFC Tortures Chicks," and, "Boycott KFC," and showing shocking undercover video footage of abused chickens, PETA’s sexy "Chickette," along with a giant "chicken," will protest KFC’s cruel treatment of chickens at a Portland KFC tomorrow. The protest is part of an international campaign launched by PETA after nearly two years of failed negotiations with KFC:

Date: Monday, February 23
Time: 12 noon
Place: KFC, 707 N.E. Weidler St.

Oh, please, Portland newspaper, television, someone, please send a photographer to cover this...!

(When is someone going to organize a protest of PETA's cruel treatment of its female volunteers? First you strip 'em to their underwear and put 'em in a cage on main street, then you put 'em on leashes at dog shows, and now you send 'em to KFC in showgirl chicken suits. Oh, the humanity! Where stands N.O.W. on this issue? "PETA Exploits Chicks!" Er, I mean, "...Women!")

LATER: Not to mention PETA's "Sexiest Vegetarians":


Yes, they're wearing lettuce. Make up your own joke about salad dressing. I'm assuming the shoes aren't leather.

Tell me again...

...that the United States are the bad guys.

Excite | Iraqi Finds Home Became Torture Chamber
..."This was my grandmother's bedroom," al-Hariri, 54, said Saturday, standing in a room barren except for the remains of iron bars embedded in the floor where lines of prisoners were chained.

(Via Kathy Kinsley.)

Just what this campaign needed

Ralph Nader just jumped into the race, as an independent. (The Green Party doesn't seem to want him anymore.)

Look for an endorsement from Howard Dean any minute now.

He blogged what?

Yes, Rex Hammock, a publisher who ordinarily writes about the magazine industry, blogged about his meeting Thursday with the President of the United States.

"Censorship!"

Chicago Sun-Times | Advocates for deaf charge censorship in closed captioning
The Bush administration has cut off its closed captioning for nearly 200 TV shows, prompting charges of secret censorship to promote an ideological agenda.

"Bewitched" and "Scooby-Doo" are out.

So are "The Simpsons," "Law and Order," some American Movie Channel documentaries, "A&E Investigative Reports" and "X-Men Evolution."

...Officials at the [Department of Education] now say, however, that they are acting on the "intent of Congress" to limit captioning to "educational and informational" programming.

"We in the Department of Education had external experts come in and help us determine the parameters for what would be appropriate," said Troy Justesen, deputy secretary for special education and rehabilitative services.

Sigh. Censorship? Has George Bush banned "Bewitched"? Has he issued a warrant for Wolverine's arrest? Has he even made it illegal to add closed-captioning to Bart Simpson? No. They've just been taken off the list of programs for which the federal Department of Education will pay for closed-captioning.

I'm not even sure there should be a federal Department of Education. I'm positive it shouldn't be paying for closed-captioning on "The Cisco Kid." And the department isn't even going to save any money! They're going to spend just as much taxpayer money on closed-captioning, they're just going to spend it on A Midsummer Night's Dream, the Nightly News and the Big Comfy Couch instead.

(Maybe they should reconsider the Big Comfy Couch...)

Here's the complete list of newly approved and disallowed shows.

You can't make this stuff up

Reuters | Goodbye Slaughterville, Hello Veggieville?
A vegetarian group wants an Oklahoma town named after a family that helped settle the state to change its name to Veggieville because they think its sounds a lot better than Slaughterville.

The city council of Slaughterville, Oklahoma, a town of about 3,000 in the center of the state, was due to discuss next week the proposal by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

...Slaughterville was named after a family that helped settle the area in the 19th century. The family ran a dry goods store and blacksmith shop.

There are two possibilities. (1) PETA does not imagine for one moment that the city actually will change its name. In that case, this is pure publicity. (2) PETA thinks the city might actually agree to change its name. In that case, this is self-delusion on a pathological scale.

It says something about PETA that either possibility is credible. But then, when we think of realistic goals rationally attained, how many people think PETA? Hands...anyone...? That's what I thought.

(In my hometown, there is a well-respected family whose last name is Rape. I never thought twice about it until I went to college. And I've known a few Slaughters in my time, all of whom were kind and gentle people.)

You might notice...

...that I haven't said much about the day-by-day recreation of the Vietnam War in which critics of Senator Kerry and President Bush are, each in their various ways, indulging.

PhotoDude | Stupidity, 30 Years Past Its Expiration Date
“This just in ... we’ve got a piece of 31 year old torn paper, that will determine the fate of mankind!!! No, wait, it will be determined by this 32 year old picture from an out of print publication!!! No, wait, it turns out that from May to October 1972, George Bush wasn’t AWOL, he was meeting secretly with John Kerry to plan a rich frat boy prank that, well, 30 years later, they’re now springing on us!”

We live in busy, busy times. How can it possibly be that so many reporters have so much time on their hands? Don't they know there's a war on?

(No, not the Presidential campaign. The other one.)

Time travel

Fort Wayne News-Sentinel | Lawmaker plans push for move to Central time zone
A leading lawmaker wants the House to vote next week on a resolution asking the federal government to move most of Indiana to the Central time zone and observe daylight-saving time.

...Currently, 82 counties are in the Eastern time zone, but 77 of them do not observe daylight-saving time. Five counties in southeastern Indiana are in the Eastern zone and do observe daylight-saving time. Five counties in the northwest corner and five in the southwestern corner are in the Central time zone and observe daylight-saving time.

...The last significant legislative push for a time change was in 2001, when a group of businesses and other proponents of daylight-saving time lobbied heavily for it. They said the existing system hurts the state's image and makes it more difficult to do business with companies elsewhere.

The metropolitan areas of Evansville, Chicago, Cincinnati, and Louisville all straddle the state line, and all vary from the time zone most of the state follows (which is Eastern time, but not Daylight Saving Time). For more details see What Time Is It In Indiana?

Homophone watch

Unexpected

Okay, the election just got interesting.

WXIA | Court: Back to the Drawing Board
A three-judge federal panel on Tuesday overturned Georgia's redistricting plans for the state House and Senate, saying they violated the principle of one person, one vote.

The court enjoined the state from using the maps in legislative elections this summer and fall and gave the Legislature until March 1 to draw new maps or face the possibility the court might do it.

The Legislature currently is in session but the ruling caught legislative leaders without a plan for dealing with the problem.

...The maps were drawn following the 2000 Census when Democrats held majorities in both houses and used their clout to try to cement their majority at the expense of Republicans.

One strategy was to shift black voters from districts in which they were an overwhelming majority to adjacent, Republican-leaning districts where they might help elect Democrats.

...In a 91-page decision, Judges William C. O'Kelley, Stanley Marcus and Charles A. Pannell Jr. noted that there is a 9.98 percent population deviation between districts in the House and Senate maps and declared that lawmakers "made no effort to make the districts as nearly of equal population as was practicable."

"Rather, we have found that the deviations were systematically and intentionally created (1) to allow rural southern Georgia and inner-city Atlanta to maintain their legislative influence even as their rate of population growth lags behind that of the rest of the state; and (2) to protect Democratic incumbents."

Well, yeah, we knew that. But I never expected the court to agree.

That ought to keep the Legislature out of trouble for a little while.

Predictable

That's why I haven't said much about the early stages of the presidential primaries. I live in Georgia: Our primary is so late in the season (March 2) that we're accustomed to all the shouting being over by the time we're asked to vote. We don't expect to see any of the candidates here.

After all, some fool might ask them which flag they favor, and who wants to get mixed up in that?

I don't think of myself as a single-issue voter, but I have to admit that the first question I ask myself is this: "Which of these men would I choose to be the commander-in-chief of the United States armed forces?" And I invariably vote for the name with which I answer that question.

Kerry has already said he'll yield that responsibility to the United Nations. That lets him out.

LATER: The importance of the upcoming flag referendum, and the reason it won't settle the issue once and for all, is that the 1956-2001 flag won't be on the ballot. The voters of Georgia will be offered only the two flags above from which to choose. This one...

...is going to haunt Georgia politics until it is defeated in a popular vote.

Which, at this rate, means forever.

Which is not to say...

That the Jack Schiff-edited sci-fi Batman was without merit. "Robin Dies at Dawn" (Batman #156, surprisingly psychological for a comic book) and "Prisoners of Three Worlds" (Batman #153, a rare Batwoman/Bat-Girl book-length epic) were definitely keepers.

Julius Schwartz, 1915-2004

One of the founding fathers of science fiction fandom and comics fandom, and a longtime editor for DC Comics, Julius Schwartz, passed away early Sunday morning. If you have no idea who he is, Mark Evanier can tell you.

At great length.

For me, the following is the transition that defined what separated Schwartz's comics from anybody else's.



To the left is Detective #326, the last issue edited by Jack Schiff. It was Batman's 300th appearance in Detective Comics, though no mention of this landmark is made. It is fairly typical of the run over the preceding ten years: Situations that wouldn't have been out of place in the Superman comics of the time, and some of the wonkiest aliens you could hope to see. If memory serves me, illustrated by Sheldon Moldoff (whose own rarely-seen style, when he wasn't ghosting Bob Kane, wasn't half bad).

To the right is Detective #327, the next month's issue, and the first edited by Julius Schwartz. As you can see, about the only thing that stayed the same was the presence of Batman and Robin. Illustrated by Carmine Infantino, making no attempt to imitate Kane.

Dis us and kiss us?

The Knight Ridder Election 2004 blog (what a clever idea!) reports that the Detroit NAACP isn't too pleased with the Democratic Presidential contenders, all of whom (except for Al Sharpton) chose to skip a Thursday night NAACP-hosted candidates' forum. (Dean was planning to attend, but changed his mind.) K-R doesn't link back to any particular report, but here are a couple of stories from the Detroit Free Press (Kerry All But Owns Michigan) and WDIV (Sharpton Is Lone Candidate At NAACP Forum).

Here's the quote that K-R picked up, though, from the Rev. Wendell Anthony, president of the Detroit NAACP branch, as reported by the Freep: "You can't diss us in the winter and expect to come back and kiss us in the fall."

If we've know anything about politics, it is that the NAACP is going to support the Democratic candidate in the fall no matter who he is, or what he says or does in the months before. That is, Rev. Anthony, you are as wrong as wrong can be. The Democrats have been "dissing and kissing" you and the NAACP for as long as I've been following politics, because they know they can count on you. You're in their pocket and they know they don't have to expend any resources to keep you there.

Free advice: Drop some hints that some Republican candidate, any Republican candidate for any office, actually has some good ideas, and see what happens.

If you cannot conceive of any situation in which you might do that, well, my point is made. Neither Democrats nor Republicans will waste much time campaigning for your vote. There's no point. Only Al Sharpton, who enjoys shaking bees' nests, will show up and play the Race Card when it really isn't about race at all. It's about return on investment. The Republicans can't buy you for any price, and the Democrats can't give you away. Your mind is made up. (In other contexts, we call that "prejudice".)

You're welcome. Have a nice day.

I guess they'll have their clothes on this time

Ah, I see PETA isn't through here:

PETA News Release | PETA Holds "Snarl-In" at Iams’ Superdogs Show in Atlanta
Atlanta — Joined by barking canine companions and waving signs that read, "Iams: Stop Torturing Animals," members of PETA will stage a "snarl-in" outside a performance of the Iams-sponsored Superdogs International in Atlanta in an effort to persuade attendees to leave Iams pet food on store shelves until the company stops conducting tests on animals in laboratories. The protest is part of PETA’s international campaign against Dayton, Ohio-based Iams, which was launched this summer after years of failed negotiations:

Date: Sunday, February 8
Time: 12:30-1:30 p.m.
Place: Philips Arena, 1 Philips Dr.

"Snarl-In". I can't think of a better description of PETA's presence. At least they found the right venue.

Maybe they should hold the two events together.

I've got an udder and I'm not afraid to use it

Reuters | Don't moo-ve! There's a cow in the bank
A Friesian cow took a detour from a wedding where she was meant to be a guest of honour, wandering into a German bank where she was caught on security cameras sidling up to the tellers.

While we're talking about naked people...

Yes, I have seen this week's Stone Soup. I've been watching with fascination. (Start with Monday 2-2. Hurry, their archive only lasts two weeks.)

Now that's tempting

PETA News Release | Women Strips Naked to Protest Circus Cruelty in Atlanta
Atlanta — Confined to a cage with their nude bodies painted like tigers, with a banner above them reading, "Wild Animals Don’t Belong Behind Bars," two women will protest Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus’ treatment of animals and the "sucker statements" about animal care that are issued by the circus at each stop:

Date: Thursday, February 5
Time: 12 noon-1 p.m.
Place: Peachtree Center Mall Entrance, 223 Peachtree St. N.E.

Now, this isn't a new tactic. PETA has been stalking Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey for years now. Nor will this be the time when anyone (besides me) challenges their use of the words "nude" and "naked". Their caged girls always wear bikini bottoms, sometimes wear tops, and always carry large signs at breast-level.

It is interesting that the closest they could get to the actual venue (Philips Arena) is Peachtree Center, several blocks away and not line-of-sight by anyone's definition. But then, the street level mall entrance opens directly onto the food court, which at lunchtime should be reasonably high visibility. And what's the weather supposed to be tomorrow? Rainy, high of 42. I wonder if they'll be inside the mall.

Maybe they actually mean CNN Center, which is on the same block as Philips Arena.

Two girls? In the same cage? You may have to do better than that to attract attention, now that Janet Jackson has raised the bar.

Mr Hasselhoff, tear down this wall

Ananova | Hasselhoff claims he had hand in Berlin Wall falling
David Hasselhoff has complained to museum curators after finding his photo absent in a collection of memorabilia about the fall of the Berlin Wall.

The actor and producer, who says he is working on a film version of TV series Knight Rider, claims he is partly responsible for the fall of the concrete divide.

Speaking to German magazine TV Spielfilm, Hasselhoff said in 1989, the year the wall fell, he had helped reunite the country by singing his song 'Looking for Freedom' among millions of German fans at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.

He said he felt he had moved people on both sides of the wall, although he admitted hardly any of the East Germans could speak English.

Well, it was either this or Janet Jackson.

(Actually, Jennifer at OscillateWildely and All Sorts beat me to it...)

It's a streak

For the second week running, I've won the Caption of the Day contest at Ipse Dixit. Aw, shucks.

Looks like I'm going to have to find out who John Edwards is to have a shot at a third.

More about Pixar and Disney

Reuters | Barron's: Pixar Loses Out as Disney Talks End
Pixar Animation Studios Inc. may have assumed risks and disadvantages when lengthy negotiations to renew its movie distribution deal with Walt Disney Co. broke down last week, according to a report in the latest edition of Barron's.

Shares of Pixar rose 3.4 percent to $66.39 on Friday while those of Disney fell 1.8 percent to $24, a day after the firms announced they had failed to extend a pact that has yielded such blockbusters as "Finding Nemo" and "Toy Story."

Pixar will face Disney as a rival in the increasingly competitive animated film business and Pixar's new partner is unlikely to be as strong as Disney in family entertainment, Barron's said.

At the rate Disney is divesting itself of its Feature Animation division, by the time Pixar has to "face Disney as a rival", there won't be anything left except Television Animation, and their interminable series of intellectually bankrupt sequels to films that needed no sequels.

Which, since Disney will retain ownership of and sequel rights to the existing Pixar features, will probably include cel-animated versions of "Toy Story 3: Toyz N The Hood," "Toy Story 2 1/2" (told from Jessie's point of view), "Buzz Lightyear 2: The Wrath of Zurg," and "Grilling Nemo." I can hardly wait.

Los Angeles Times | A Clash of CEO Egos Gets Blame in Disney-Pixar Split
Several months before last summer's release of "Finding Nemo," the chairman of Walt Disney Co., Michael Eisner, told his board not to expect a blockbuster and suggested that such a fate might not be all that bad.

Eisner said that although Pixar Animation Studios was excited about its film, he was not impressed by early cuts he'd seen, according to people familiar with the matter. Should the movie falter, Eisner said, Disney could gain negotiating leverage in contentious talks to extend its partnership with the highflying animation company.

Pixar, Eisner concluded, may be headed for "a reality check."

The computer-animated film would, in fact, prove to be a reality check — for Eisner. The critically acclaimed "Finding Nemo" would soon make more money than any animated film in history. Advantage: Pixar.

Let's see, what does this remind me of?

Oh, yes. It reminds me of Walt Disney Productions' leaving it's longtime production partner and distributor RKO when Walt felt he was getting a raw deal, creating his own distribution subsidiary, Buena Vista.

It also reminds me of several years earlier, when Walt Disney split with an earlier partner for whom he was making "Oswald, the Lucky Rabbit" cartoons. The partner kept Oswald, forcing Walt to design a new star character, Mickey Mouse. And the rest, as they say...

I thought I was kidding

Fox is remaking Mister Ed.

David Alan Basche has been cast as Wilbur Post in Fox's remake of the 1960s comedy "Mister Ed"...

"Mister Ed" is an updated take on the classic sitcom about Wilbur Post, played in the original by Alan Young, and his talking horse in which the equine title character has an urban sensibility. Basche's credits include the sitcoms "Three Sisters" and "Oh Grow Up" and Steven Soderbergh (news)'s feature "Full Frontal."

According to AllHipHop News:

According to reports, producers at Fox TV have decided Mister Ed would be more marketable and popular if the talking horse adopted hip-hop lingo.

Not gonna go there. Talk amongst yourselves.