Hide! A Cow's Outside!
You can relax now, they caught the cow.

"The cow escaped from the meatpacking plant by jumping a six-foot fence." It did what? I thought that moon thing was a fairy tale. Cows can jump?

No way can I take this seriously. Especially with offers flowing in from all over the country offering the cow "sanctuary".

"A cow ... managed to elude capture for 10 days..."? There's never a cowboy around when you need one. Quick, where's the nearest rodeo? (Failing that, those cow-tipping high school kids...)

LATER: More on the cow's fate.