Friday, January 04, 2002

Southern snow

Well, why the hell should we know how to drive in snow? We only get it one day every two years or so!

Yes, I do get a mite testy when the Yankees start giggling at the phrase, "Atlanta is paralyzed under a one-inch blanket of snow..."

Well, for one thing, it was closer to four inches of snow on Wednesday night, but I realize nobody from Buffalo is likely to be impressed by that. Let me explain why Southern snow is different.

(1) Because we get snow so rarely, who has a chance to practice driving in it? That's one of the reasons people move to Atlanta: It's just like a Real City *ahem*, but without snow.

(2) Because we get snow so rarely, we have no fleet of snowplows and salt trucks to clear the streets.

(3) It may be an overall higher humidity, or it may be an overall higher ground temperature due to our more moderate winters. (Some meteorologist will have to explain to me exactly what's going on.) But when it snows here, it melts when it hits the streets, then freezes glassy smooth overnight. Even Yankees slip and slide when they drive on this stuff.

(4) If we get more snow after that, it freezes into little icy ball bearings on top of the glass, making the streets even more treacherous. (And let's not even talk about sleet.)

(5) It's an excuse to take the day off. Sort of a Peachtree Street version of Mardi Gras.

Now, if y'all will excuse me, I have to go defrost my windshield.

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