Friday Follies

O + = + ) = hcf
Originally uploaded by nor¤cal¤jeff.

Here's a short examination of why DVD players have regions--and how to get rid of them. From Wise Bread.

Back before the invasion of Afghanistan, when the world was telling the U.S. that it wasn't possible, one of the reasons given was the "brutal Afghan winters." And it does get cold there occasionally -- almost as cold as it gets here, at any of our numerous ski resorts. I thought of that when I read about the woman who skinny-dipped in the Trevi fountain in Rome, to "beat the heat". The blistering record heat wave of... 27 Celsius (80 Fahrenheit).

Emotive's flagship product, the patent-pending "Push Ringer", reverses the common ringtone model. It enables a caller to push an outgoing ringtone to the receiving phone allowing the caller, not the called person, to set the tone. Oh, great, just what we need. I've already seen a roomful of people doing the Cellphone Macarena because they can't tell whose phone is ringing, and that's when they know what they set their ringtone to. Want to hear another reason this is a bad idea? You think spam e-mails are frustrating, wait until someone "pushes" a sales pitch onto your phone. Imagine the hilarity when your pocket asks you if your pen!s is really large enough for you. During an important meeting.

Sheryl Crow thinks we can all get by with "only one square [of toilet paper] per restroom visit." Fortunately, Rosie O'Donnell performed a public service by delivering an untoppable answer to Crow's suggestion: "Have you seen my ass?"

Looking for a fast moneymaking scheme? Buy a herd of sheep, take them to Japan, and sell them to the locals. Tell 'em they're poodles. They won't know the difference: They don't have many sheep in Japan. Oops, too late.

John Q. Public really didn't need more reasons to hate Wal-Mart. BusinessWeek suggests that the recent implosion of some of the nation's largest electronics retailers (CompUSA, Tweeter, Rex, Circuit City) is attributable to WallyWorld having broken the $1000 barrier for flat-screen televisions back on Black Friday 2006. Just as their aggressive toy and grocery pricing killed FAO Schwarz and Winn-Dixie, respectively. (Saw it at The New Shelton Wet/Dry.) The Wall Street Journal reports that "In past decades, deejays and music critics helped shape musical trends. Today, many music industry executives agree, the big boxes have become the new tastemakers." And we all know whose box is the biggest. (Saw it at the Consumerist.) And now Forbes has named "the Wal-Mart squeeze", summarized by the Consumerist thusly: "The more stuff you sell at Walmart the more dependant your company is on their various whims. The result? The most stuff you sell, the smaller your profit margin is."

The mysterious fifth sense

I was beginning to think no one would ever hear my adaptation of H. G. Wells' "The Country of the Blind". But, much to my surprise, there it is in ARTC's Podcast, part one last week and part two this.

I can't judge the performance of the actor playing the lead character, Nunez, but the rest of the cast is delightful, and it was a pleasant surprise to hear my friend Thomas Fuller as the Elder of the little village.

This has always been one of my favorite stories, and I hope we've done it justice.

Why people hate tech support

There is nothing unusual about this tech support call. Thousands just like it happen every day.



From The Consumerist.

Friday Follies

Robert Heinlein at One Hundred.

The ancient mystery surrounding the great acoustics of the theater at Epidaurus in Greece has been solved.

This is the story of a girl named Corey O'Malley, and a boy named Corey O'Malley, who had their credit reports accidentally merged.

Did you know that Don Imus' "nappy-headed ho" remark was actually George Bush's fault? It's on the Internet so it must be true. Just as well he isn't in the furniture business.

Interplanetary war is now reality. First we invaded Mars, then we nuked Jupiter.

ZDNet's list of 10 flagrant grammar mistakes that make you look stupid. "Bare/bear", "poll/pole", "ring/wring" and "reign/rain/rein" mysteriously missing from list.

Oops

The downside of moving to the new post-beta Blogger template is that I have no way to display old comments. I've archived them all, but Blogger gives me no way to import them into its comment engine.

Sincere regrets for any inconvenience this may cause.

Friday Follies

No Dumping
Originally uploaded by creativelychallenged.

I don't know what's more interesting, the fact that this letter has been lost in the mail since September 1943, or that it's junk mail.

Organ donor? Cremation? Traditional burial? Why not place your loved one in a unique resting place? (He always wanted to be a writer...)

Playboy comes to my alma mater, only thirty-two years late. Go, you Brazilian dawgs.

It may not be green so much as a slightly greener shade of brown.

Is it possible to be on the Billboard list if you don't have an album? Well, yes, now. (NY Times story requires registration.)

Receiving fines and points had no significant impact on the risk of repeat [traffic] citations. Great, now you tell me.

April Fools Day

Our first day in Japan
Originally uploaded by 7-how-7.

I don't think I dislike April Fool's Day as much as Sleestak does, but it has lost a lot of its charm for me. On the Internet, it means you can't trust anything you read...but that's different from the other 364 days how, exactly?

Friday Follies

links
Originally uploaded by mord.

So, if it's so much more efficient for the IRS if I file electronically, why do I have to pay extra to do it? (Another in a series of backroom deals wherein private industry arranges for the government to pick my pocket.)

Hans Island is a frozen bit of rock in the north Atlantic that's been claimed by both Canada and Denmark. Proving that it's an ill wind that blows nobody good, the place has become important as a consequence of... global warming.

Remember that British show called The Good Life (known in the United States as Good Neighbors), where Tom and Barbara Good decide to retool their suburban home for self-sufficiency? Utterly unrealistic, of course. Nobody would actually do that, right? Of course not. Now, if they lived in New York City, that would be realistic. (NY Times story: Registration required. See also Wise Bread and The Compact.)

Do you have any opinions that you would be reluctant to express in front of a group of your peers?

And an oldie but a goodie, the Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time, complete with a link to the BBC's report of a booming Swiss spaghetti harvest.

You get what you deserve....

Shame
Originally uploaded by dubaddict.

...when you ask Google for driving directions from Chicago to London. I especially like the part where Google tells you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean, and actually estimates how long that will take (assuming you can maintain a brisk 6 mph).

Originally observed by Gadling, also reported by Upgrade: Travel Better and The Consumerist, this behavior -- trick? Easter Egg? Computer sarcasm? -- recurs for any two cities separated by the Atlantic. Wisely, Google refuses to attempt driving directions to Tokyo, even if you plan to stop over in Honolulu.

Yes, I tried it. What can I tell you? I was bored.

Best Buy Acquires Speakeasy

Huh? Did I read that right? The internet service provider with possibly the best reputation of any ISP, better in fact than most computer manufacturers I could name, is being acquired by the retailer with the second most ignorant sales force on the planet? (CompUSA holds the title, but they're closing stores left and right and not likely to spread their seed.)

This week's linkdump

California - San Francisco - No Dumping - Sign.jpg
Originally uploaded by Colin Gregory Palmer.

Borders to end its arrangement with Amazon.com? Barnes & Noble and Borders to merge? Dogs and cats living together? ("Farkers everywhere briefly turn away from the comfort of their familiar blue and white columned worlds, and ask 'What's a book?' ")

RIAA asks universities to deliver letter from RIAA to students telling them to pay for downloaded music. Universities say no. RIAA asks universities to rat on students who download music. Universities say no. RIAA asks universities to retain and turn over IP address assignments in order to track students who download music. Universities not only say no, but bill RIAA for the time they've wasted.

Separate beds for married couples not enough? Try separate bedrooms. "The quest for better rest is behind the trend as experts say the lack of decent sleep can cause marital tension. ...Snoring, night-time visits to the bathroom, child-care requirements and shift-working can deprive couples of the recommended seven to eight hours of sleep per night."

"Software developers truly believe, in their heart of hearts, that they are typical users."

And half of teacher's can't see this mistake.

You know, this makes sense

I don't think anyone who knows me would accuse me of being a rabid environmentalist. That said, though, I certainly see the wisdom of minimizing the consumption of resources when practical. Most of the lighting in my house is compact-fluorescent instead of incandescent, which lowers both my electric bill and the average room temperature. I'm sold on the utility of low-power LEDs (which appear to be widely used in traffic lights in the area). Heck, I even find the dark-sky arguments quite reasonable. (I remember when I could lie on the grass at night and watch the stars. I sure can't do it now.)

But I didn't think of this:

Treehugger.com | Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-Hours a Year
From the lights out department - did you know that a cathode ray tube (CRT) monitor uses about 74 watts to display an all white web page, but only uses 59 watts to display an all black page? ...

Take at look at Google, for instance, who gets about 200 million queries a day. Let's assume each query is displayed for about 10 seconds; that means Google is running for about 550,000 hours every day on some desktop. Assuming that users run Google in full screen mode, the shift to a black background will save a total of 15 (74-59) watts. Now take into account that about 25 percent of the monitors in the world are CRTs, and at 10 cents a kilowatt-hour, that's about $75,000/year, a goodly amount of energy and dollars for changing a few color codes.

Okay, $75,000 a year divided by however many million visitors doesn't amount to enough difference for any one user to notice. I'd certainly grant that. Nonetheless, it would be a strong, conspicuous gesture toward an attitude shift. Why burn what you don't have to?

No, you won't find me leading any "Internet Goes Black" movements, but (as Treehugger points out) there are many dark colors that still represent energy savings compared to white. I spent years perfectly content with green-on-black 80x24: The screen resolution and color palettes available now offer a tremendous improvement over that.

I suppose it's possible for me to override any page's default colors, but this isn't the kind of thing that would be effective as a user-by-user grassroots movement. The hosts of the internet's most popular pages would have to buy into it.

Of course, as the world upgrades to LCD monitors, the issue may take care of itself.

"Oh, you’re going to defy me when I become president?"

Looking for an alternative for President in 2008? Tired of choosing the lesser of the evils? Have I got a candidate for you.

Columbia Chronicla | Secret Service investigates satanic vampire
The 2008 presidential bid just got a little more challenging for the race’s only satanic vampire candidate.

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, a 42-year-old New Jersey man who is running under the Vampire, Witches and Pagan Party, is currently being investigated by the Secret Service for potential threats toward President George W. Bush.

According to Sharkey, Secret Service agents visited him and his 19-year-old wife, Spree, in Ohio on Feb. 15. The visit concerned Sharkey’s repeated remarks about impaling Bush, an act Sharkey said he would only do if he were elected president.

“They never even asked to see my impaling stick,” Sharkey said.

... “They were telling me, when they were interrogating me, that their job was to protect Bush even after he’s out of office,” Sharkey said. “I’m looking at them like, ‘Oh, you’re going to defy me when I become president?’”

The Secret Service agent's reaction is unrecorded.

Time is broken

Sun Dial, Kew Gardens
Originally uploaded by bluedwarf.

Did everyone remember that the new, improved Daylight Saving Time begins today?

I did remember, and spent the last half-hour or so before bed last night changing clocks. We have cheap battery-powered wall clocks in almost every room: Those would have to be changed manually. So would the clock on our oven, and the one in the breadmaker (we have a microwave, but it doesn't have a clock), and alarm clocks in my son's room and on my wife's side of the bed. Oh, and the clocks in our answering machine and thermostat, and my analog pocket watch.

I missed the VCRs. I confidently expect I'll have to change them four times this year: Once when DST now is, and once when DST would have been. I'll see if I can disable the auto-settings for that, while I'm in there.

My alarm clock, my daughter's alarm clock, and the wall clock at my wife's desk all get atomic timekeeping signals: They all updated themselves. So did the computers and cel phones. (Exception: My iPaq, an older model, didn't update. I wonder if there's a patch for that version of Windows Mobile. Why, yes, there is.)

Outlook, of course (and those of you who use it should be aware of this), jumped the gun and went wonky a couple of weeks ago. My all-day events spanned two days, because they begin and end at 1am instead of midnight, and my timed events drifted forward an hour. Downloaded Microsoft's Time Zone Data Update Tool: Worked just fine. Although I am amused that Windows itself can update automatically and Outlook can't.

Note to myself: When I replace clocks of any kind, replace them with clocks that receive atomic timekeeping signals. I shouldn't have to do this.

Ah, well, it could be worse. I could live in Indiana.

Rational discourse

It would be unfair of me to draw any general conclusions regarding the thinking or reasoning power of the average "progressive" based on one stray posting at Wonkette. I am, however, impressed that those who chose to comment on the "issue" are so determined to hate conservatives that they cannot accept a statement from George F. Will at face value even when they agree with its substance.



If you happen to view the video before you follow the link, you may wonder what the fuss is about. It's 24 seconds into the video, when George Stephanopolous asks Will about Ann Coulter (a reference, one supposes, to her recent remarks pertaining to John Edwards), Will falters, recollects his thoughts, and says "...the less said about whom, the better."

At least, that's what I heard him say. The progressives seem equally sure he said "...the less said about him, the better."

That's it. That's all.

Coming Soon

Ten days after Valentine's Day the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company will bring you a show about seduction; that fine art, that ability so many aspire to but so few achieve. And what's more seductive than a good vampire story? It's guaranteed to get your blood pumping.
Special musical guests: The Radio Ramblers!

Stage Door Players
5539 Chamblee Dunwoody Road
Dunwoody, GA 30338
Box office phone number: 770-396-1726
Tickets are just $10!

Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 8:00pm
Sunday, February 25, 2007 at 2:30pm

(Create custom images at ImageChef.com)

That's "as smart as I"

"Second-class citizen"

Fox News | Toys 'R' Us Reverses Decision on Denied New Year Baby Prize
After coming under fire for denying a Chinese-American infant a $25,000 prize in a New Year's baby contest because her mother was not a legal U.S. resident, the Toys "R" Us company said Saturday evening that it had reversed its decision.

The Wayne, N.J.-based company said it would award each of the three babies in the grand prize pool of the "First Baby of the Year Sweepstakes" a $25,000 savings bond.

...Chinese-American advocates had complained that the toy company's decision smacks of second-class citizenship.

I can't fault Toys 'R' Us for choosing the solution they did. True, they're giving away three times as much money as they intended to, but it's petty cash for a company of TRU's size. Still, I find myself wishing this case had gone to court. Which it may yet, I suppose. It might then fall to a judge to provide some long-overdue clarification of the legal status of children born to non-citizens who happen to be in this country when they give birth. With the current state of affairs regarding the US / Mexican border, this question is far from merely academic.

Because we are the wealthiest, and most generous, nation on the planet, we accept that babies born here are U. S. citizens regardless of the status of their parents. This would not be the first occasion on which parents exploited that generosity for their own benefit, although it might set a record for the tender age of the child being exploited.

But there is one way in which the accusation of "second-class citizen" might be appropriate to this situation, for that is exactly what the child is: Or, to put it another way, a minor. There is a world of things that minors may not do in America (and we consider this right and just), among them enter into contracts--and what is a contest's entry blank if it is not a contract between the entrant and the sponsor? The rules of TRU's contest specify that only a citizen of legal age may claim the prize. The child can't do it: She's not of legal age. The mother can't do it: She's not a citizen. It's not TRU's fault that the mother-to-be didn't read the fine print.

TRU, in short, was right to disqualify the entrant. TRU caved because they didn't want the PR headache this situation would be. It just isn't worth the cost of a $25k savings bond to have mom's lawyer telling the press that Toys 'R' Us hates yellow babies.

591 ways to find Britney Spears

If everything is on the web, then that means that some really, really weird stuff is on the web.

This page begs several questions:

Why is Google tracking the number of ways that people misspell "Britney Spears"?
Why are they putting the results on a publicly viewable page?
What does it say about computer users, as a class, that over three months, there were over 600k queries for "Britney Spears"?
What could anyone want to know or see that isn't already public knowledge?
What does it say about computer users, as a class, that nearly one-fourth of the queries were misspelled?
I didn't know there were 592 ways to misspell "Britney Spears". (Okay, I realize that isn't a question.)

Tread carefully, Verizon

NY Times | Verizon to Allow Ads on Its Mobile Phones
VERIZON WIRELESS, among the nation’s most widely advertised brands, is poised to become the advertising medium itself.

Beginning early next year, Verizon Wireless will allow placement of banner advertisements on news, weather, sports and other Internet sites that users visit and display on their mobile phones, company executives said.

...“We know we can make significant dollars in mobile Web advertising in 2007,” said John Harrobin, vice president of marketing and digital media for Verizon Wireless. “That said, we likely will not — we want to take it carefully and methodically, and enable the right experience.” More generally, he added, “Mobile advertising is going to take off in 2007.”

Ah. With the magnanimous generosity of the suggestion that they will probably choose not to make as much money with this as they could, they implicitly admit that they know there might be some customer resistance to this tactic.

Allow me to spell it out for all those Verizon managers who are doubtless hanging on my every word:

The first ad I see on my mobile phone will be the last ad I see on my mobile phone. I will stop whatever I'm doing and head directly to my local Verizon store to return my phones and cancel my account. If I have calmed down, I will walk into the store to do this. If I haven't, I'll throw it through your front window. But I will be damned if I will pay you to put an ad in my pocket.

Perhaps you, Verizon management, have forgotten that I already pay you handsomely for the privilege of carrying your phone. I do not browse the web on it. I do not take pictures with it. I do not play games with it. All I do is place and receive calls. Apparently this is too high an expectation for a mobile phone. I have it in order to enable fast, convenient communication with my scattered family. Do that job and no more and you have a customer for life.