Dana Milbank at the Washington Post likes the "dead parrot" sketch.
Customer: "That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk."He can't spell fjords, but that's okay, who can? And who can resist describing the Clinton campaign as a "prolonged squawk"? (I really like the caption for the accompanying picture of the candidate boarding a plane: "Hillary Clinton, pining for the Rose Garden.")
Pet-shop owner: "Well, he's, he's, ah, probably pining for the fiords."
But as you can see from the cartoon, there are other possibilities. But then you probably read Fark, too.
"But I'm not dead yet!"What I can't figure is why we didn't see this prolonged deathmatch coming. The Democrats are a party of loosely-allied minorities, and here we have two of them set at each other's throats. This could not possibly end well.
"Yes you are. You'll be stone cold dead in a moment."
"You're black. Republicans will never vote for you."The first candidate to eat a wafer-thin mint will explode. All over the nightly news.
"You're a woman. Republicans will never vote for you."
"You're too young."
"You're a Clinton."
"I've had the superdelegates locked up from day one."
"Only because they're afraid of your husband."
"Everyone thinks you're a closet Muslim."
"Everyone thinks I'm Tiger Woods."
"Nobody really knows you."
"Everybody knows you, and nobody likes you."