Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Is This an Ex-Candidate?

Okay, how many ways are there to say "the Clinton campaign is dead" with Monty Python jokes?

Dana Milbank at the Washington Post likes the "dead parrot" sketch.
Customer: "That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk."

Pet-shop owner: "Well, he's, he's, ah, probably pining for the fiords."
He can't spell fjords, but that's okay, who can? And who can resist describing the Clinton campaign as a "prolonged squawk"? (I really like the caption for the accompanying picture of the candidate boarding a plane: "Hillary Clinton, pining for the Rose Garden.")

But as you can see from the cartoon, there are other possibilities. But then you probably read Fark, too.
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"Yes you are. You'll be stone cold dead in a moment."
What I can't figure is why we didn't see this prolonged deathmatch coming. The Democrats are a party of loosely-allied minorities, and here we have two of them set at each other's throats. This could not possibly end well.
"You're black. Republicans will never vote for you."
"You're a woman. Republicans will never vote for you."
"You're too young."
"You're a Clinton."
"I've had the superdelegates locked up from day one."
"Only because they're afraid of your husband."
"Everyone thinks you're a closet Muslim."
"Everyone thinks I'm Tiger Woods."
"Nobody really knows you."
"Everybody knows you, and nobody likes you."
The first candidate to eat a wafer-thin mint will explode. All over the nightly news.

1 comment:

Caran said...

You can blame the headline on Bill Walsh:

I believe that would mean you could blame the spelling of "fiord" on him, too, but that is an acceptable variant spelling.