What day is it?

Bwah hah hah hah!

Extremely belated disclaimer

Having only just now read Dave Barry's description of his own colonscopy (published last February, well before my own), I have some reactions:

1. I really did only just now read it, so any similarities of my account to his are wholly coincidental, save that there are only so many things one can say about "HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!"
2. Okay, the tube is actually about two meters long. I started to say "only two meters", but there is no such thing as "only two meters" when it's going... where it's going.
3. Nobody told me you could spike the nuclear laxative with vodka. I don't drink, but I might have been tempted to start had I known.
4. I think my favorite sentence must be this: "And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet."

"I was at first nauseated, then realized it was an opportunity"

The words above were spoken by the woman pictured to the left. Her name is Deborah Lawrence, "a collage artist [who] frequently combines politics and satire in her work." The object in her hands is a Christmas ornament commissioned by "a local arts organization" selected by Congressman Jim McDermott (D-WA).

First Lady Laura Bush asked members of Congress to pick local artists to create ornaments representing their districts for display on the Christmas tree at the White House. It sounds like a pretty neat idea to me.

So why is McDermott's office denying that it, or he, "had [any] role in the design of the ornament"? Because this is the only one of the 370-some ornaments that was rejected. Why was it rejected? Because it is a pro-impeachment ornament.

Lawrence...told The Washington Post she saw the ornament as a perfect way "to highlight Jim McDermott because he's a hero of mine."

"I was at first nauseated, then realized it was an opportunity," she said.

An opportunity. To personally insult the outgoing President. She couldn't put politics aside, even for Christmas, even for what is ultimately a trivial gesture intended as a little positive PR for Washington state's 7th district.

I was at first nauseated, too. But I still am.

(USA Today | White House rejects impeachment ornament)